i came back to school, just to see my fp, who fucking hates me

(vent)
Yeah you saw the title. During the weekend, I was hanging out with my gf more often, (she was my fp for a while i think) and traveling to other country for vacation, so yeah, i wasnt exposed to my fp for long. i thought i got over her. but then on jan 2, i had news that schools gonna start on the 2nd. i couldnt even sleep and i was so scared... i came back to school and every time i look at my fp i start to shiver and feel uncomfortable, but i cant stop staring, she wont even talk to me she seems nice outside but inside i know she hates me cause i act so obsessive. 

actually, im not diagnosed with bpd yet but i 100% know that i experience fps

My current fp led me to therapy once, when she told me that she doesent want me to talk to her cause i acted weird towards her it hurt a lot and i wanted to kms, i got sent to the hospital cause my parents realized that i tried hurting myself and i coukdnt go back to school until i 'seek professional help' its kinda funny