//vent// augh fuck

As always, if I sound incoherent or if wording sucks, I apologize fldkndnf either way, just something I wanna talk ab which is I can’t help how hard it’s been lately to now talk to new “online friends” I make only to still feel awkward even after talking for a good amount of time I believe that normal people take to get used to around them fkdjjdnf 

idk if it has to do with how long it’s been since I’ve talked consistently to some old internet friends due to circumstances and of the sorts that just made me feel more shy around making new ones, but it’s really killing me in general. I wanna talk and initiate with them more and it feels really uncomfortable if I were to explain these conflicting feelings to them one on one since I feel they don’t consider us close enough to kinda have these sorts of discussions with or hell, they might not care at all in the slightest at the end of the day and I’m just blowing this out of proportion.

I wanna get rid of this anxiety and I feel bad for those that I haven’t been talking to recently. However, I’m still not gonna give up on talking to them entirely and work up the courage to speak to them again since I still have an interest in them and I hope they’re still interested in me too. On a lighter note aside from all the depressing crap, I don’t really have much else to say except that I hope to whoever is reading this is having a good day or night. Love you all <3