W I L L Y W O N K A

My friends and I decided that today we'd go to see the new Timothee Chalamet Wonka movie. We got super hyped and even dressed up as the characters. I already had a Johnny Depp Willy Wonka costume cause my mom was Willy Wonka for halloween when I was like three and I was a tootsie roll so ofc we still have it that's super normal. Then two of my friends were oompa loompas (shoutout Addy) and had absolutely epic costumes. We had another girl go with us, but she didn't dress up. She was still silly though.

We went to Wendy's first before because where else to you pregame Wonka like fr. We got so many weird looks in Wendy's. This lady kept talking to me and calling me Willy Wonka. She was an old lady she was sweet. When I was waiting for my food, there was this family that came in with little kids and they kept staring at me in awe and their mom was like "yea, Willy Wonka, from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I see him." Then she was talking about the old movie vs. the new one (not the Timothee one tho I don't think) with her husband. They called my name for my order as Willy Wonka which I didn't even tell them but I died a little of laughter it was SO iconic. The guy then asked me if we get stares everywhere but I told him that was the only place we'd gone to so I dunno yet (but probably). One of the workers also took a picture of us and we said we're going to all become famous now. I could feel all the stares SO STRONG but it was worth it. One of my oompa loompa pals said that by the time I leave this town, I'm just going to be a cryptid, which I think is my new goal. I've done so many weird things already, I have a rule in the school handbook, so why stop there? 

Once we got to the theater we were informed that the movie was unfortunately not working and they had to cancel almost every showing. They didn't have the rights to show it or something. But I did get a free oompa orange slushie, so, win ig. We were then going to try to go pyrite it somewhere (like in Addy's basement) or go to another theater (but it was like 45 minutes away so we didn't have time) but instead wanted to show the Italian exchange student Spencer's since that's one of two stores we have in our mall. So, we went on an adventure through Spencer's. I felt like a chaperone since I'm a seasoned Spencer's shopper (I don't actually buy anything there I just love adventuring through that store it's like a horrifying museum I love it) (I hope that one day there's a museum with an exhibit that's just an old Spencer's that would be legendary). The Italian was very shocked by all the boobs and penises, but was also very amused. They had some pretty epic graphic tees, my favorite being "You have yeed your last haw" with a opossum with a cowboy hat, but the one that said "stepbro material" gets an honorable mention. I forced everyone to go to the back on a quest to find penis macaroni, but unfortunately all they had was lollypops as well as other various fallic candy. We stayed in there a while just gawking at the utter magnificence of Spencer's. For Christmas one of my friends got me an "I <3 Boys Who Sparkle" Edward shirt from there and I love it so much. We also looked through the sunglasses and studded belt section (which are conveniently right next to one another) and a legendary video was born. It was me saying "you've been a bad oompa loompa" before snapping the belt which was a red belt with black studs. Amazing, I know. I wish I could post it on here cause it was just so fantastic, I couldn't even keep a straight face.  We then took a trip to Claire's, which is the only other store in our mall basically and is conveniently placed right across from Spencer's. I swear, there has to be some Spencer's vs. Claire's war going on in our mall, there's no way those two stores can live together in harmony. There were some epic dinosaur earrings, which I unfortunately did not get. We tried to get Addy to pierce her ears, but instead she just got fake nose piercings (which she could not get to stick on her septum). We wanted to get friendship necklaces or bracelets or rings or something to commemorate the  memory but everything was too expensive (we broke). 

So instead we just terrorized the mall by making awful tiktoks of us as Willy Wonka characters. Each one was captioned something like "pov your daughter just got eaten by squirrels in front of you" but each one was a different horrific moment from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I vogued a lot. My favorite one was to that "I AM A FEMME QUEEN" sound which was so cursed, but we of course also did the brozone one from trolls3 with everyone (duh). Oh, and the I don't wanna be Mercy song with the Junko poses, but I was the only one that knew the poses right because I'm just that cursed and awful. The last one was to Murder on the Dancefloor from Saltburn, but now I'm thinking we should have done the Saltburn Perfect (Exceeder) song cause it's just so iconic. But, I mean that works too. 

Some lady took our picture for us which was beautiful and amazing. So, yea, that's the chronicles of me and my friends terrorizing the town today. We're going to have to do it another day, too, because we still need to go see the movie for real. But. That was a lot of fun. We should go to Walmart next time. Nothing is ever not cursed in Walmart. 

Hope you enjoyed that blog have a wonkaful day