entry 1

entering the new year is scary, terrifying even, like i have no idea what to expect for this next year and it honestly freaks me out.. talking about my future freaks me out but im not sure how to explain it nor do i know if i actually make sense.. like what do you mean im getting closer to being an adult? i dont want to be an adult. i dont want the responsibility. whenever i talk about it with my therapist or psychiatrist they say its just life. like. i get its gonna happen eventually but that does not mean fearing it isn't normal, well, i dont actually know if its normal.. so thats why im writing this.

2023 sucked, like, really bad, i went to a new school for the kids that need special help or whatever and the teachers just babied you until you did something remotely wrong and act like your the worst person to exist, i had so many dumb and petty fights with some people i used to call friends, and my best friend is currently in a coma, most likely braindead.. but we have not given up yet, she is a strong girl. along with horrible mental heath issues, so honestly i HOPE 2024 has something good to it, i try to look to the bright side of things.. like i have a couple of close friends, i have nice stuff and a nice room. i get too anxious though and never actually leave my room lol...