Getting older

I turned 20 years old 364 days ago, in less than 24 hours I'll be 21. 

Its a strange feeling getting this little bit older, I don't feel different that I did yesterday, not any more different than I would from any other day to the next but I guess tomorrow is the start of real adult life. 

It all got a bit real when I found my first grey hair, my then boyfriend was sitting beside me on an airplane while we were on our way to Amsterdam 363 days ago when he spotted it, long and pearly white. He was just as shocked as I was, my baby face doesn't show any signs of aging, it hasn't since I was 13 really. My hair has taken the brunt of the burden from my workload. 

I guess overworking myself makes me feel more like an adult, like in some way I'm in control of my own destiny despite the fact I just throw everything including my blood, sweat, and tears at the wall just to see what sticks. Maybe I'm a workaholic, or maybe I'm just trying to be more than I was convinced I could be. More than my teachers taught I would be. More than that stupid aptitude test I took in school that told me my time would be best suited to honing a craft as a puppeteer as if love of English, of languages, of history, meant nothing. As if my own words would always sound better coming from someone else's mouth. 

Today I am still just 20 years old, but I am more than I was told I could be.

For me I guess that's enough, happy new year :)