met matthew lillard :D

sooo this happened liek over a month ago put i still wanted to talk about it bcuz i am thinking about him again ;3 tw for mentions of sh scars but it is very far from being bad

i was like all panicky when i walked up to him and the first thing i said to him was "oh my god u are real!" and he was like "i know! and so are u!" and then he was like kinda playing with my hair while being like What the fuuuckkkk ! and then he grabbed my shoulders and i grabbed like his forearm and we were just being like What the fuck ! Holy shit ! Oh my god ! and then he hugged me and while he was hugging me he said he liked my hair (it was dyed red, pink, and orange). my friend and sister were there too so he was like talking to them for a bit and then we got a picture and he high-fived us. then i asked for a fist bump and the first one was NOT GOOD! and matthew was like "wow u suck at this" so we tried again and i was in like a silly little fist bump pose and he said "oh i like what you have going on" so we fist bumped AGAIN but this time he also had a silly little fist bump pose. btw he fist bumps with an explosion at the end if anyone cares.

as my sister, my friend and i were walking away, matthew kinda pulled me back by my arm and he was like "take care of yourself" and i was sooo confused but then he held my arm gently and i realized my sleeves were rolled up and he was talking about my sh scars. and then he hugged me and i started crying and he pulled away from the hug and he was like "take care of yourself for me" and then he hugged me again while i cried and he rubbed my back in circles and told me to be strong and that he was proud of me when i told him that i was 5 months clean. then he held my face and kissed my forehead and told me that he was happy i was able to make it and that he hopes i could find peace and love.

cried for like 10 mins straight and after that it was just on and off. he is so important to me. ive looked up to him for years, and this memory will forever be something that sticks with me. everything about meeting him was so special and he made me feel so safe from just the 3 minutes i spoke with him. i hope i get the chance to meet him again so i get to tell him just how much this meant to me, and just Him in general.. unless i get all anxious again xP

here are da photos! scribbled out mah friend + sister