selfish scared something else

if i was in love with the universe maybe itll love me back 

and i was never good with that

i take

take

take

never give

selfish down to the core

i wish i felt more

something other this emptylonelysinking feeling

id rather stare off into the distance

than into the eyes of someone that truly loves me

maybe im not fit for such things

maybe i dont want to wake up to another person sleeping next to me

show them who i really am

get naked

feel them under my skin

and want to get under theirs

im afraid that this loneliness will eat me from the inside out

starting from the fears inside my skull

until it eats off the part of me thats ashamed to get closer to you

im not ready for the moment that itll wear me off

just enough that i get a taste of what its like to look into your eyes