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I feel an uncontrollable anger more and more frequently...its not my period since I had it last week(though it didnt help)...

I spend most of my time laying in bed feeling nothing but anger..I can't even play a game of overwatch without feeling bored the first 5 seconds into the match...

I feel like things are inconsistant in my life. Though they end up being repetitive each and everyday. I wake up late, I eat something, I play overwatch or some other game, I eat more or starve, then I go with my mom to pick my dad up. 

I have nothing to do everyday so I spend it doing nothing. Except I know I could be out doing something, could be fixing my bike, practicing my art, doing something other than rotting in bed. But I don't get up and instead stay as long as I can asleep.

I'm tired and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I want to wake up with the will to do something. I want to do something. But everytime I want to do something, my mind automatically makes so many excuses in less than 30 minutes that make me loose the will to do it. I want to be better, but my body refuses. And my mind rationalizes it so I won't feel guilty for it. And I never do.

That's what I feel the most guilty about.