I c a n t s l e e p...

"every time I close my eyes I feel as if the room is spinning.

I'm starting to feel really nauseous and I'm vomiting what little words I have left. Anxiety is eating up every thought processed and I can't sleep. I'm AFRAID my mind will drive me crazy. 

I tried getting up only to fall back down. I'm getting really paranoid. Every little noise shakes me from my sleep. I feel light. Not light as the morning sky or light as white but as an ankle weight pulling me down deeper into an abyss of blue. 

I'm feeling ineffable. 

so ineffable I forget how to speak. As if my greatest ambitions were wiped out and replaced with ankle weights all bringing me down with them. I've lost all interest in everything. In everything and everyone and I want to be left alone. Left in a brooding scene. Because no ones truly there when I need them  and no ones truly loud enough to hear. I can't sleep"~REZZA