burn a picture update #2

hey !!! its that time already ^_^ the holidays kinda caused me to struggle w finishing this chapter but i ended up finishing it today. so lets talk abt it!!

i forgot to mention last chapter's name, which is "the failures of one akane kurashiki" (ty to spacehey user sigma klim for the idea!!). this chapter's name is "the downfall of one akane kurashiki." i wanted to have a theme like with the title so i felt it worked out . im rlly proud of my chapter titles, esp future chapters' 

anyway heres the logline

"Akane overworks to the point of illness. Junpei asks to join Crash Keys. The Kurashiki siblings ask Clover to collaborate after no email from Alice." 

okay so this chapter was pretty dialogue heavy compared to the previous one. which is basically my bread and butter. i rlly like dialogue and it was fun getting to write it for characters i havent fully characterized yet. this is pretty much my first time writing abt clover, light, and diana, and i think i did a pretty good job?? idk maybe i need to read more meta 

tbh i had a lot of trouble writing the first two scenes. ive been pretty positive abt my writing as of recent but at that point i rlly felt like i was actually bad and a fraud lol. ofc its only a first draft, so it makes sense that it wont come out the way i envisioned it in my head. at least writing abt akane's denial was fun fhdhgf

im very big on headcanons so while in canon, akane wasnt bullied but still othered, i decided to project my issues onto her GHFJSDFDJDGFH unfortunately, diana tried her best to show support but it came off the wrong way due to her shyness

the last two scenes r prolly my fav scenes to write as ive been daydreaming abt them for weeks. the second to last one starts w akane walking to headquarters a few weeks after she recovers from illness. i like giving characters designs that differ from canon, so i gave akane a work outfit. i wish i could draw it but alas.. 

anyway this scene has akane and the others (sigma, phi, aoi) planning to go up against some religious fanatic. theyre in the midst of it when junpei suddenly barges in asking to be recruited. akane initially declines, but sigma and phi believe he could be of help as a detective. eventually, akane gives in, saying she'd think abt it

the final scene for this chapter had the dialogue all scripted as i wanted to remember my ideas before writing them. ofc not without a few additions to my initial draft. it didnt take too long to write out, and im quite proud of the result!! im rlly excited to delve into akane and clover's dynamic as theyre similar when u think abt it,, both siblings who will go the extra length for someone they care abt, even if it leads to violence. i feel like clover doesnt realize that deep down 

idk if i mentioned it but theres Quite a bit of plot points i plan to retcon/rewrite out of canon. i dont usually do this unless its smth that makes no sense or is offensive as i tend to be canon compliant. i plan to rewrite delta's motives though that might not be important in this fic, the reason for mira's incarceration (it says she turned herself in out of guilt but that feels jarring so i imagine the police ended up finding out she's the heart ripper. maybe thru delta idk), light no longer has interoception or his prosthetic as ive heard those r bad stereotypes. he also uses a white cane to get around. i also wanna change the weird connotations surrounding sigma and diana's relationship, as they have a weird age gap (sigma's 67 in his 22 yr old body while diana's most likely the same age as young sigma). so i hc her as a lesbian and she canonically sees sigma and phi as a brother and sister according to the art book i believe. i also wanna remove the stereotypical aspects of alice's character

anyway here's an excerpt:

Akane and Aoi sit in a booth at a cafe with live music near the outskirts of town. It’s a quaint little place, but the clientele is the opposite. They cheer whenever a new song gets played, or an old favorite. It reminds Akane of the diners in the 80s. The menu is reminiscent of such an aesthetic, the booths yellow with red stripes. There’s also a bar at the front, but nobody is there at the moment. In fact, there aren't many people at the moment. They must have arrived at a not so busy time, fortunately. 

“It’s only been a year,” Aoi says, “it wouldn’t make sense if she didn’t.” 

A week or more has passed since Phi has emailed the SOIS, and not a single response. So Akane came up with the perfect plan to show up at Clover Field’s workplace, knowing she serves as Alice Khalid’s mouthpiece. She knows the location well because her future self needed to know for the Ambidex Game to succeed. They also showed up because they were thirsty, but that’s a less important reason. 

In the corner of Akane’s eye, the woman of the hour walks over to their table. But they aren’t the usual customers. She wears a yellow and red dress and a puffy ponytail instead of the pigtails she sported during the Nonary Game. Upon seeing the familiar faces, she trips over herself, almost dropping a plate. She gathers her bearings, then looks at them with a surprised expression that quickly turns into anger.

idk i rlly like the intro paragraphs here . rlly sets the scene imo

anyway thats it ghdjghf onto chapter 3!! bye for now :D