I don't quite understand

i don't understand life anymore, it seems so weird to watch everything around me fall apart almost immediately and trying to put it back together. It doesn't look like before it doesn't look better either, it looks obscene and crooked and i don't know why i don't care, it all hurts comfortably anything resembling a good memory gets taken away and only the bad stuff got left behind only thing i got left is bad i can't shake it off.

Everything was fine until i knew better now it's not fine, i'm surrounded and scared