how i am still here

it's so embarasing to write a blog, like, im telling unknown people in the internet about things that not one person in my family knows

i have found myself playing more romantic visual novels, maybe it's because that

today i made the realization that im never gonna make anything good in life, im only here to make others feel better about themselves, becaus if someone is doing worse than you it makes you feel a little bit better. i don't feel like i can't continue withs this anymore, everyday it's just another one, i don't feel like i got any friends at all, friends talk to each others almost every day and ask amongs themselves how are they, i don't have anyone to ask that, or someone that's asking me that, but i can't go now, i can't leave. they spend so much money in me that if i leave now, it would've all been in vain.

but i have no reason to keep going, and i feel like i can't, i feel like if i try to do anything it would fail like everything i try to do, i have a guitar that i don't know how to play, a piano on whom I only know a few songs and don't feel like playing on it, so many sketch books from another time where i had desire to learn to draw better, a cat that more than a mascot now it's one of the few strings that hold me dearly to life, my computer that i use to pass faster the time so i can go to sleep again & repeat the day again and again and again. 

<3

Cya (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) stay silly mentally and fisicaly