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Where did it go? No Forreal please tell me where is it because I haven't felt anything magical about the holidays since 2013. Which was the last year I even felt something I was 21 and still had a some what's innocent mind. Christmas is dead, I tried everything this past month to feel something and felt nothing at all. I'm just depressed, It's 3 days before Christmas as of writing this blog and I am not excited at all. 10 years I've been chasing that feeling again and nothing I do ever brings it back.
I'm trying to feel like it's the holiday. I'm seeing the lights and trees and the hustle and bustle of everyone out and about, I'm hearing the music and still feel.......... nothing :( It's just nothing. I want to feel something but the magic truly is gone. I had tiny bit of the spirit at the beginning of December then poof! Gone!. I've tried everything, Looking at old Christmas Commercials I grew up as a kid in the 90s and early 2000s and trying to put myself in the mindset of being young kid again and nothing. I've tried listening to Christmas music and mixes and again nothing. I want the magic back
I feel like maybe this is just trauma from the past decade with dealing with so much shit in my life plus the way of the world. We can't go a week without a disaster happening or the looks like it's all about to come to an end at any moment and any semblance of comfort or peace we have in our homes and lives are just gonna be snatched from under us and we will just die cold scared and homeless. I don't want anything for Christmas, but the magic back. I don't want to see Family I don't want things because nothing coming out excites me anymore. What is it gonna take to get it back?
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andrew covell
Yeah it came by so fast this year I blinked and it was pretty much Christmas I think alot of that is just the weather though cuz I did everything else that make things feel Christmassy but in the end it felt like I was just trying to fool myself I mean I had Christmas music I. My ear walked to the store wearing a Santa hat and all I could think was I looked out of place like that not that I'm complaining about the warm weather heck that might actually of been the best part about this Christmas but I think I now know why most want a "white Christmas"
not even the weather. I really do think it maybe just trauma and depression from me that's making me like this. I've gotten too cynical after witnessing so many horrible things happening to me in my life that the holidays just don't mean anything to me anymore not to mention theres literally nothing I want for christmas anymore because everything is boring and stupid. I know this holiday isnt about getting gifts but that was a part of the cheer.
the music doesnt hit the same anymore and I even tried to watch old commercials and tv specials and movies and nothing. I just feel nothing which sucks because I remember the time I use to bounce with joy at the thought of christmas coming.
by ✯xX_d34dbunn1_Xx✯; ; Report
It seems easier to be celebratory when it's good times. The only magic or acknowledgement it is Christmas at all I got is when I saved up to buy a handful of presents and draw a few things for people I cared about, and seeing their reactions, along with my mom having me play a scavenger hunt for some cashews. We always did scavenger hunts.
Halloween is pointless and always makes me sad. Eastre I dread because it'll remind me of my grandma. It's just not a been a good few years. Not at all. No shame in not feeling much joy.