writing (mid novenmber)

its just like starting over

its a familiar taste of copper and salt

i dont want to recognize this

your suv

The print stained in the passenger seat of your SUV

The images ingrained in your deranged mind

Addicted to my touch and attention

Whilst you continue to lie about how you'd fallen

replaced me

Treat me like cancer, ignore the illness

Hide the intimate details, cover the nights in lies

Pretend our story wont taint your blood as I keep you up tonight

Bandage the wounds with her, but the scars will never fade

wake me up when youre gone 

so its safe to be vulnerable

together, im alone

and wait until im dull

"breathe" -

i never knew

how much you'd breathe

youve forgotten it all

but youve never left me

late night

im biting the skin from my cheek

and wishing it was your tongue instead of mine

i long to lay my head down

but the words are prying free

friend

everyone else is asleep

all i have is you

shape edge and silent words

but i know exactly what youd say

as you glide wonderfully across

blood kissed skin

skulls are never silent

i dont claim to be a writer

i am meerily a puppet of my own mind

listen to the words spilled onto the page

that you whisper in your head

over apologetic

actions of guilt

its hard to tell yourself

its not your fault

when fates in your grip

make the right decision

my wrists ache

words are sharper

than dull blades

relapse and relax

one more time

and it solves itself

start a chain reaction

the scent of sulfur stains the house

the fuse is always set

not damage to prove it

The decision is yours to make 

and I trust you'll make the right one 

for you

You don't have to be sure right now

but you cant hide forever

if you take away anything from

the experiences with shared

please dont forget

the moon is beautiful tonight

isnt it?

i forgive you

temporary 

looking you in the eye

i dont recognize either of them

i can still recall the color of them

do you remember mine?

i dont know if it counts

i tell myself it was an accident 

though while i watch the guilt trickling down my arm

i know my intentions

but shying away from ownership

is the most human thing i can do

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