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I've been thinking long and hard of where to start with this topic, but I think the biggest point I want to make is that people online are just like people in real life. Some are dangerous, some are friendly, all have their own thoughts, feelings, and lives. I know that should feel self-explanatory, but it's easy to forget the other person behind the screen.
There's a few things I personally keep in mind when navigating the web:
- Don't feed the trolls.
- Treat people like you wish to be treated.
- Block people freely.
- Don't interact with advertisements.
- Personal information is sacred.
- Be mindful of parasocial relationships.
- Don't feed the trolls
This has been a saying from the early days of the web. A troll deliberately tries to offend, cause trouble or directly attack people by posting derogatory comments. The idea is that there are people out on the web specifically looking for negative engagement and to pick fights, and that we shouldn't engage with that behavior. This is more present than ever on Twitter (now X) where you can pay for a "checkmark" (previously a sign of a verified celebrity account, now a badge of paid-for visibility), and receive money based on engagements (when people like, click, bookmark, or share a post). This means hate speech gets lots of money all of a sudden, because people refuse to let it move idly by. Some people say that if you're a target of a troll, it's best to block, report, and move on. But if that person has a following, what then? How do we fight a mobilized group that wants to harass people? Personally, the worst you can do is respond in any way aside from blocking folks. On a good enough social media, blocking and reporting the content should be enough to quell the storm momentarily. Responding, at best, let's the troll know they're bothering you. At worse, you're putting the harassment (hate speech, terrifying imagery, and more) in front of your friends and followers, some of who may be extremely vulnerable when seeing this type of thing online. For example, seeing Don't Say Gay bills and transphobia can ignite my depression and have me spiraling for days. I try to avoid it at a base level because of how it upsets me. My friend LOVES responding to transphobic comments with facts and reasonable arguments, which puts it on my feed, and makes me spiral. Even though my friend has good intentions, it may not be worth the fight. In the end, you're not going to change their mind, especially if they're trying to get people to react and give them money just by being there.
If you're subjected to targeted harassment, you have every right to press legal charges, get the police involved, and force social media moderators to act. Document everything with screenshots, refocus on your online security, and don't be afraid to speak up to your friends if you feel bad from the things they say.
- Treat people like you wish to be treated
This is self-explanatory. Be nice to people and be interested in what they have to say. If you're mean and nasty right out, people tend to respond similarly. If someone seems to try to attack you or your character out of the blue, especially over a small disagreement, talking things out calmly and rationally while focusing on their feelings can be a big help. However, if they become disparaging or hateful, see the above mantra.
- Block people freely
Don't be afraid to block people! Do you keep seeing a friend sharing posts from someone you don't like? You can block that person directly while still keeping your friend in your circle. I find that I block a lot of hate accounts, but also accounts who post certain content I don't enjoy, like sports or crypto. You can block anyone, for any reason, and that's okay! Social media should be a place where you can heavily curate your feeds and what you see.
- Don't interact with advertisements
When I say don't interact with ads, I really mean any ad. I mean shopping ads and travel ads and ads in posts on social media and ads on YouTube videos and every ad. uBlock and adblockers and the Tor browser will help you visually avoid those ads. Now, why don't we want to be clicking ads? There's a few reasons. One, ads online are almost universally run through Google. Every time you click, Google gets a little more money. As Google is the fourth most profitable company in the world, I personally think they should have... Less Money. If you want to support the business advertised, consider seeking them out without clicking the ad. It's a bit of typing and a few extra clicks, but it takes money from Google's pocket and puts money into whoever's ad it was. Here's what's happening when you click an advertisement.
- Personal information is sacred
Your personal identifying information is very important, as the less you share, the safer you are. Your name, age, address, phone number, and many other identifying features can lead nefarious people to you. Even if it doesn't, enough information can compromise your identity. We've discussed this topic in depth already, but it never hurts to reiterate the severe importance that your personal info holds.
- Be mindful of parasocial relationships
The term parasocial isn't that new - in fact, it came alongside the boom of televisions in the 50s. "One of the striking characteristics of the new mass media—radio, television, and the movies—is that they give the illusion of face-to-face relationship with the performer... We propose to call this seeming face-to-face relationship between spectator and performer a para-social relationship." (D. Horton & R. R. Wohl in Psychiatry vol. 19 215) The relationship between yourself and your entertainment can be tricky, especially after a long time of watching. Dedicated viewership can be mistaken for friendship, and it becomes even trickier with social media and direct contact methods. You can ask your favorite performer questions or even congratulate them - and with Twitch.tv, we can see these people react in real time to us. These barriers make the illusion of closeness even greater, to the point that it starts to cause problems. Performers have revealed details of strangers (fans) following them home, fans leaking the performers home addresses, and even violent confrontations. We have to keep in mind that the folks we see on streaming websites, video sites, social media, they're another human too. Not only that, but they don't know us as a person. Being playfully mean may just come off as mean. Acting overly friendly at a meet-and-greet may come off as creepy. It's good to keep in mind that performers aren't our friends, but they are human and deserve to be treated as such.
And with that, our safety section comes to a close. In the next session, we're going to talk about how to fix your computer when things do go wrong! Malware, hacking, and other safety concerns happen to everyone sometime - it's just a matter of how you handle things once they've gone bad.
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