August

Walking down the halls of his old school was nowhere near on his schedule this week, but as he walked down the halls, he can't say he regrets it, what he regrets is the fact he did so at 4 in the morning when the sun isn't even up yet, he sighed as he looked inside the empty classrooms, their high school reunion was near so he came back a few months earlier before the event so he could take a walk around the town again and then he walked to his school and before he knew it he'd already climbed the back gate into the school

"aghh, why is it so cold in August, why didn't I wear more layers" Khiro hissed, his hands now in the pockets of his jacket, he sighed as the cold seeped into his clothes, taking his eyes off the classrooms he looked around then looked up at the rooftop, he can't help but stare and remember all those times with him, his first love, Axel.

he sees something on the rooftop and he feels a sudden rush of adrenaline, he runs to the hallway that connects the two buildings, even after so many years have passed—running in these halls he can't help but feel sixteen again, the wind grows colder but all he could feel was the fast beating of his heart, breathless when he's in front of the rooftop door he takes a moment to calm his heart down and hold the door handle

he takes a deep breath in before opening the door and he  is met with nothing but the blue night sky mixing with the yellow hues of the sunrise, he sighs tiredly looking around for anything, looking for a reason, wanting the world to give him a reason, he'd ran so fast just to go here "shit my manager is gonna be so mad at me" he sighed once again, his schedule is already packed with meetings on the next show he'll be in and yet he took a detour just to go here 

In his mind, a pair of green eyes appear, Axel. He looks up at the sky tiredly as he walks and sits down in the middle of the rooftop. He lets his mind wander, letting himself think about Axel for the first time in the past decade. The mere thought of Axel always made him lost in his memories, he feared that if he thought about him more than he already did, it'd be harder to let go

he looks at the rooftop, his mind filling with memories of him, hands held under the table, those long glances at each other, the hidden kisses, waking up next to each other at an early hour just so the other can sneak back to their own house and the undeniability that they were never meant to last more than they did

Axel had been there ever since they were kids, being classmates was a huge advantage, they'd always been close there had always been something they'd just never put a label on until they were sixteen, the hidden agendas, the excuses on where they were going, the sleepovers, all those times he ran to the rooftop and seeing Axel there, all of his teen memories being filled him and loving him

"Khiro!" Axel smiled at him "Sorry for being late My mom was getting suspicious about why I've been out of the house so much the past few weeks" he sheepishly said as he held one of Khiro's hands, khiro gently squeezed Axel's hand "It's fine, are you okay now?"

Nearly every date started with that

"love... I'm sorry we can't do that. My parents might find out. "

was always the excuse

"It's fine, you being here is enough"

That was what he'd always say

"Are you sure about this?"

He'd always ask

"Never have I ever before"

was always Axel's answer

"I love you"

Axel always said to him, even if on most days it never felt real

"I love you too"

was always his reply

Axel always called, started their meetings told him when and where they'd meet up but he couldn't complain, what was there to complain for the person he'd been unknowingly yearning for ever since they were kids was with him, and wanted to be with him wanting was enough, for him it was enough.

that was until Axel confessed to liking him and wanting could no longer be enough

then a few months after their high school graduation Axel called or at least axels phone number called him what greeted him was not his boyfriend but his boyfriend's mother finding out about their relationship and forbidding Axel and Khiro to never talk to each other other again, he could hear Axel crying in the background 

but before he could say anything she hung up and he was left there standing in his new dorm room 100 miles away from Axel, and that was how their relationship ended

trespassing on this school was all in hoping he could see him again, how foolish of him, risking everything he worked hard for the past few years, his acting career, his public image all of it just for a slim chance he could see Axel, now out of all the things he did in the past hour this one is what makes him feel like he's actually sixteen again, risking all of it for Axel, willingly dropping the things he needed to do for him

"Excuse me?" a deep voice echoes through the rooftop and he tenses when he hears it 'shit whom the hell would go to the school at 4:30 in the morning' he thought for one second before remembering teachers existed, he quickly stood up and brushed his pants his back turned to whomever the person was, he was quickly making up reasons he was there and who he was but it all died on his throat when he turned around

Green eyes greeted him. They seemed to be as shocked as he was.

"...Khiro?"

He couldn't say anything too busy admiring the person in front of him it was Axel, of course, it was Axel, he had changed the shape of the glasses he wore, he had grown his hair it's tied in a low ponytail, he had eyebags now, he has a teacher id and writer there bellow his name 'Math teacher, he was wearing a turtle neck and a cardigan, and now the sun was rising and it made him look like he was glowing—he was beautiful

"Axel," he says a breath too late, Axel has already started running down the stairs 

"Wait!" he shouts as he runs after Axel, they don't get far they are halfway down the stairs when Khiro reaches Axel, Khiro holds axels hand, and before he can say anything Axel starts apologizing "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," axel said with a shaky voice his head down in what seemed to be shame his fists balled in frustration 

Khiro's mind gets loud as the memories all come flashing back, his focus still on Axel but his mind elsewhere buzzing with anger then sadness they kept switching back up until—"Khiro, I'm so sorry" Axel murmured his fists clenched on his side and there khiro realises axel is shaking, and without knowing why he finds himself hugging axel, not tightly it can actually barely even be considered a hug, there's no closeness his arms aren't actually wrapped around axel, his arms are just hovering its as if his mind did something without realizing but knew in itself that he shouldn't 

And they stayed like that for a while, his mind going back to the buzz it was a while ago trying to figure out why he did that, why he's still doing it, and why he let go. He sees Axel open his mouth maybe to say that he should get away from him, and as he's about to apologize he hears people talking near where they are, he feels Axel push him his face turns "leave" Axel say as he looks at where the sound comes from, his hands fall to his side

"Axel-" 

"Please leave," Axel asked pleadingly his voice gentle but firm, he took one look at Axel before nodding and slowly he says "Okay, Axel I just wnat you to know I-"

"Please, I'm begging you to leave"