Nothings new

"I can try to find you in every room I enter, save you a seat at every table, I can look at the stars and get reminded of you, I can want you...I can love you and still not want to be with you" he said his voice shaking as his eyes glistening with unshed tears, Artem looked at him pleadingly the rain getting stronger the longer they stood where they were

"Elio we can go-" Elio knew somewhere in his mind that was what he wanted to but he cant have that. The rain was so cold, soaking his clothes and his hair, he wasn't gonna choose to leave his siblings under their dads' care, he wasn't willing to drop it all just for Artem

that was something he knew he couldn't do,

"We cant Artem, alam mo naman na diba?" he said hoping that its enough for Artem to drop the subject, but god help him this boy isn't backing down instead Artem went closer to him and held one of his hands, and for the first time since Artem ran after him under the rain he felt warmth even if it was just for a second he felt it

"But he's hurting you, right? pwede ka mag stay doon samin, please Elio don't do this to yourself" Artem pleaded tears falling down his face so freely, how could Artem be able to let his emotions show so easily, why couldn't Artem just understand

He shook his head and gently pulled his hand back from Artems' hold, his mind reeling alarms going everywhere, his tears fell but he brushed them away as quickly as they fell, he shouldn't even be here, he should be home helping his sibling with their homework

"di ko yan kaya artem, di ko kaya bitawan lahat para lang maging tayo" he said as he looked away

"Is that what you think this is all about? So na pwede kitang maging boyfriend in the end?" Artem asked him, making Elio look back at him and see Artems' face and focus on it and...god his boy oh no

Artem looked so hurt, oh no this was his fault

"Artem-" Elio said as he tried to reach out but Artem avoided him, that hurt

"I want you to be safe" Artem said and looked at him his eyes showing so much, Elio wanted to reach out to hug Artem but he knew it was too late for that

"Ayaw kitang makitang nag o-overwork sa school kasi ayaw mo umuwi sa bahay niyo" Artem spoke his voice shaking, and oh no he regretted ever saying anything all he wanted to do was hug him but he was the one who pushed away first he doesn't dare to reach out and try to fix something that he just broke

"Artem-" he tries, he wants to say something he doesn't know what he would say but at least let it be something this can't just-- be like this

"Is that what you think of me? That I'm just doing this because I just want you to be my boyfriend?" no no no, everything was falling apart why did he say that, Artem looked so hurt and it was all his fault

"I..." he tried again but couldn't say anything after that, his mind ran trying to think of something to say, anything to say but he couldn't and it looked as if Artem was waiting for something too, seemed as though he was waiting for anything to use as a reason to stay and had been given none

"I hope that you take care of yourself, I hope you find someone who can stay with you, I hope that you'll be happy and safe elio," Artem said as he unhooked his necklace and gave it to Elio, Elio stood there shocked as he looked at the necklace in his hand that had a sun pendant,

Artem left him alone in the rain but the world didn't stop, people still went by him under umbrellas, and the rain kept the stars covered by the clouds of the storm