my parasocial relationship with mcr

I'm currently watching Life On The Murder Scene, which is a monthly occurrence (if not more), and its that keeps me sane. sometimes it baffles me that they take up so much of my brain and they're like 75% of what i think about at all times but they also don't even know i exist... well technically you could say frank knows i exist but to him im just another person who goes to his concerts. while im over here with my cardboard cutout of Gerard way staring at me while i type this out and I'm completely in love with them. the parasocial relationship has reached an increasingly unhealthy level- but on the other hand, i dont even know where i would be without them... but then again that is where the "problem" starts. its so weird to me that just a bunch of guys have kept and are keeping hundreds of people alive in a way. i would never say that any band has completley saved my life bc its not really true... this is something pete wentz has mentioned and ive strongly believed this for a while... your life at the end of the day is completley up to you, no matter how big of a parasocial relationship you have with someone they never single handely have kept someone alive. now here me out- of course music is life saving and so are bands and it seems like im contradicting myself here but l you cant give them full credit, the music (or whatever it may be) is what guided you through it. you made the choice to stay alive(whether you realize it or not), but the music was there every step of the way, you feel me? In a way i feel like that is more precious than saying one person or a band saved your life, it makes it more personal and gives you a better personal connection to whatever it is that helped you through it... but what do u think? i probably sound completley insane... NEways back to LOTMS :3