Another Random Object Show: S2E1 "Gently Down the Stream"

tw// mentions of s*x*l abuse at the beginning, and also reminder that AROS can get very angsty at times, so swearing, violence, and trauma is prominent.

San Francisco, California, July 2018.

“...stop.” Soda Can said, pushing his uncle’s hand off his thigh. “...Stop.” He said again. “C’mon, Sodie~! Y’know you wanna have some fun with Uncle Cucumber.” Uncle Cucumber said. “I don't.” Soda Can refused. “It'll be so much fun though~!” He now tried to pin Soda Can onto the couch, but failed as Soda Can stepped away. “THAT’S IT! I’M DONE! YOU KEEP TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME AND— AND IT’S WEIRD! I HATE IT! I HATE THIS!” He was crying. “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” He said, slamming the door behind him and walking out. “...his loss.” Uncle Cucumber murmured.

Soda Can walked past everything. Past the restaurant of Diana and Marianna, who tried to speak to him in concern often. Past Kārds and Co. Banking, LLC, the largest bank in the world… and past a dark alleyway.

“HEY KID!” A strange pumpkin now said. “Wanna join a gameshow? The prize shall be YOUR deepest desire!” He offered.

“How would you know that…?” Soda Can sighed, now walking away.

“I read your soul.” The pumpkin said, causing Soda Can to stop in his steps. “You want nothing more than to get away from your rather perverted uncle. To be safe again. To feel at home.” The pumpkin now grew its hollowed-out mouth. “Join, and that prize is your’s.” 

Soda Can didn't have much time to think before The pumpkin simply took it as a yes, the pumpkin then led him to a bus. A rather empty one, and began to drive him. Sure, a bowl of ramen, a hot cup of chocolate and a Money Bag was on the bus, but what was he to make of it? 

He slowly felt tired, and like the other three aboard with him, fell asleep on the bus.

When the bus arrived, the pumpkin clapped, waking everyone up. “WAKEY WAKEY! ..we’re here.” The pumpkin now floated out of the bus and into a crowd of about 20 other people. “CONTESTANTS! These are the 4 people I recruited! Sorry for the delay! Hopefully those cottages were cozy…” he said, sheepishly. “...who’s he?” Soda Can asked. “Are you serious? That's The Gourd!” Money Bag said, exasperated. Soda Can looked up at him, and tilted his head. “Hm.” 

“Well, we should get to making teams, right?” The Cherry Sisters said, excitedly. “Ohp! Good point, Cherries!” The Gourd said, before standing. “...so, wanna—” The Clacker Brothers spoke before one of them CLACKED into the other, causing The Gourd to now do what he was meant to.

The Gourd now began to rip the land away from the mass, creating a creek, and making The Plains an island. “TEAMS WILL NOT BE MADE!” The Gourd stated, now finishing.

“Instead, this season, teams will be made dependent on the performance of YOU!” The Gourd stated. “The first challenge, and the challenge that will pick which team you are on, is to row a boat around the stream and back! THIS FLAG!” He pointed to a flag in the middle of a patch of sand, making a beach. “WILL BE YOUR CHECKPOINT! ONCE YOU CROSS IT, YOU DON’T NEED TO GO AGAIN!” The Gourd snapped his fingers “BEGIN!”

Contestants began to rush to get a boat, Soda Can was left disoriented in the crowd, yet suddenly— “Taking this one!” A torch said. “Oh— jeez, alright uhm…” Torch now placed Soda Can in his boat and rowed with him, Soda Can watched as on the stream, nearly 24 boats floated. Being rowed, so gently, yet with such fiercenesses that they moved quickly. “...it's pretty isn't it?” Torch said. “...y… yeah… OH! RIGHT! JEEZ! SORRY! I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU OHMYGOODNESS” Soda Can now panicked and began rowing. “It's Tyler, but my competition name, and the name everyone’s been calling me, is Torch. Go ahead and say that.” Torch lent out his hand, to which Soda Can held, only for it to be shaken, resulting in him meekly shaking it back. “Right! We gotta go, sorry…” Soda Can sighed.

Just then, a ding rang out. “THE CLACKER BROTHERS ARE THE FIRST TWO HERE! GET TO THE SHORE TO GET INTO HIS TEAM!” Torch then said “Shoot, we better hurry!”, to which Soda Can agreed and began to row violently with him.

Despite this, the next one safe was.. “Klubs Kārd and Briefcase! Welcome to THE WINNERS!” The Gourd shook their hands. “Oh my, oh my… Kārd, you never said you had such violence in you!” Briefcase said, fear in his eyes. “Whatever.” Klubs replied. This was followed by Camera, Mannequin and Clown, to which Camera said— “Thanks for making me do all the work…” he sighed. “Uh… whoopsies!” Clown honked his nose. 

Hot Chocolate appeared after them, with R0BUDDY. “Wait, but that means—” Hot Chocolate despaired. “YES! WE ARE THE WINNERS! WOO-HOO!” R0BUDDY cheered, doing a little dance. “...but Ramen…” Hot Chocolate sighed.

“THE FIRST 8 HAVE ARRIVED! WHO WILL BE THE LOSERS?!” The Gourd announced.

“We’re not gonna make it…” Soda Can sighed. “Oh well, we tried, right?” Torch said, rowing. “..yeah.. I… I guess we did.” Soda Can sighed.

Suddenly, a large mass of people appeared at the finish. “We’re here!” Taco announced, bringing Burger, Pizza, and Ice Cream with her. “I’M MOST IMPRESSED! What is your team name?” The Gourd asked Taco. “We’re The Foodies!” Burger cheered. “THE FOODIES ARE HERE! C’MON PEOPLE!” The Gourd said.

“We’re here! Pant…” Bread sighed. “I most appreciate you for the ride.” Spade patted Bread’s head. “Awh, it was nothing!” Bread said. “It was the least I could do.” Bread gave a warm smile, before…

“aaAAAAAAAHHHHHH” Ramen screamed as Sawblade somehow managed to make their boat CRASH right into the ground next to The Gourd. “DAMNIT SAWBLADE— oh.” Ramen said, getting her contents back in. “Told ya! If you don't play by any rules, then you ain't gonna lose!” Sawblade said before chuckling. “YOU TWO ARE THE LAST ONES SAFE! Now to wait…” The Gourd said.

Torch and Soda Can were the first ones to make it. “Did… did we make it?” Soda Can asked The Gourd. “Wait.” The Gourd told Soda Can.

A Hammer now ran up to the two. “YOU TWO! May have beat me now! But I ain’t down YET!” Hammer told them. “...al… right?” Soda Can said, confused. “MONEY BAG! You FAILED us!” Diamond said. “Oh great, there goes my paycheck.” Money Bag groaned. “It's alright! Mr. Kārd, let's calm down.” Telephone said, Diamond stared at him, but sighed and meditated as they waited. Finally, after 5 minutes, The Cherry Sisters arrived. “Ohmygosh! We were so busy! Sorry!” One of them said, “We got busy talking about fashion! Ugh!” The right one said, putting a fist against her head.

“Well, I hope your team likes you…” The Gourd now unveiled which team these 8 were on. “You are 8 are up for elimination and are now… THE LOSERS. See you at Elimination…!” The Gourd said sinisterly, now walking away.

“That was a close one, huh?” Pizza said. “Speaking of close, should we be bonding with other teams?” Ice Cream says. “...what? Ehm… go ahead, I don't… what?” Taco seemed confused, before Burger answered— “Go ahead, it’s your choice.” He shrugged. 

Ice Cream now listened to The Losers as they spoke…

“...wait, 8 of us? Where’s—” Diamond now yelped as he saw… “HI! I’M FILE. YOUR PERSONAL ASSISTANT!” 

“I THOUGHT I FIRED YOU!” Diamond yelled. “Firing doesn't necessarily make him disappear forever.” Money Bag eyerolled. “...WELL! I WANT HIM TO!” Diamond demanded. “TELEPHONE! MAKE HIM GO AWAY!” 

“Oh..! Yes, sir!” Telephone nodded, now talking to File. “...we are GETTING rid of him.” Diamond says. “That, we are…” Money Bag nodded.

Soda Can now sighed, following Torch. “...what are we gonna do?” He asked. “Hm? We’ll probably just play this show the way I’ve seen it been played—we stick together!” Torch held his hand out, to which Soda Can shook on. “...alr.. ight! We’ll stick together… then!” Hammer then scoffed at the two as The Ceremony Bell rang.

The Gourd stood before The Losers, lanterns and lamp posts illuminating the area. “Gathered in front of me are you 8, people most unfortunate as to fail on the first challenge.” He said. “A year ago, today, the VERY FIRST elimination took place, eliminating The Silent Genius.” He now revealed the Elimination Booth. “Contestants. Cast your ballot; whoever is with the most votes will be on their way, never to be seen again.”

Diamond couldn't contain his excitement for the elimination and pushed away the others as he sprinted to vote for File, then demanded Telephone and Money Bag do the same. Soda Can and Torch, despite not being part of their scheme, voted File, too.

Hammer glared at his option, murmuring… “Get your biggest threats out first, deal with the weak links later.” as he voted for Soda Can.

“He’s just.. so weird, right?” One of the Cherry Sisters said. “That's kinda mean— he’s silent, I would say!” The other said. “Well, too bad. I’m voting for him.” The first half said, now voting Soda Can. “For being weird..? You're following in Peach’s Footsteps…”

“The votes have been recorded.” The Gourd stated.

“I think I will see to it File has been ELIMINATED! His demeanor is utterly unacceptable and DISGUSTING!” Diamond stated.

“I– K– HI! I’M– let– FILE, PERSONAL– speak.” File said, spazing. “..I’m pretty sure he's just mentally ill, have you taken him to a hospital or psychiatrist?” The RIGHT Cherry Sister said.

The Gourd now interjected. “Regardless, the time to reveal the votes is NOW.” He began to reveal the SAFE contestants.

“Cherry Sisters, Hammer, Money Bag, Telephone and Torch, you’re all safe with 0 votes.” The Gourd announced their safety.

“As deserved, File is eliminated~!” Diamond immediately said.

“As much as I now despise you ruining the element of suspense eliminations are meant to bring, you are correct.” The Gourd sighs. “File received 5 votes. Diamond, you received a singular vote indicative of him, and Soda Can received 2 votes. Either way, File is out.” The Gourd says, now bringing File to him.

“damn you kārds and co. banking, llc.” File said he was turned into a vanilla file, which floated onto the ground.

As The Gourd ranted, Soda Can was now realizing just how risky this show could be, watching as the others discussed File’s Disappearance, while Diamond celebrated it.

END.

Another Random Object Show was written by TheWiseGuest.

FIN.

“Ms. Heart, I haven't felt good lately…” File told Heart. “...ah, bless your heart.” She sighed. “File, sweetie, I care about you, so y’know what?” She stood from her chair, and now patted File. “Take a break. You deserve it, hon.”

MEMORY SAVED AS “Important”. BACKUP CREATED.

wise.