remarking on the holidays

as someone raised jewish, i never got to celebrate christmas. the most i got was to live vicariously through the people around me, sometimes by getting invited to christmas parties, but always feeling left out. i really came to hate christmas music as a result of it, too. it's like there was an entire month+ of the year that was dedicated to everyone BUT me.

but!! since living on my own, starting in 2019, i finally started celebrating christmas (in a purely non-religious, aesthetic way). and i've had so much fun!

i've really liked taking part as something completely optional that just involves doing whatever i want with it. i know i'll never have the experience of waking up to presents on christmas morning, but i had similar enough with hannukah (my parents would surprise us with gifts). and one year i even got to pose MYSELF as santa and put presents under the tree for my roommates. i didn't dress up or anything, but i thought sneaking around the house at night to put presents out was a lot of fun. if i ever get to do that again and someone leaves out a glass of milk, i won't drink the milk but i will 100% put on lipstick to leave a very red mark on the glass lol.

every year i've tried to get myself one or two things to add to decorations. last year was an additional set of lights, and this year was a stocking + hook and new tinsel to put around my hallway's hanging lights! tell me this isn't so sick.