Some things that are angering me

So I'm in High School and like most high schools have, they have sped kids and special needs teachers. At my school, there are a few autistics and they get talked to like they are babies. And this happens with all sped kids, not just autistics. It's even happened to me even though I've masked my autism most of my life, but I think they talk to me like that because I'm non verbal. Just because we are different, doesn't mean you should talk to us like babies. We are teenagers, not toddlers.

Another thing that bothers me is people forcing me to talk when I'm non verbal. Sure, I love talking, but when I'm upset, I don't want to. And people have to respect that. I'm completely fine with communicating with you through text or writing but when I'm upset or just don't want to talk, please do not force me to.

Something else that bothers me is when my parents or family members hug me or pat my shoulder out of nowhere. This goes with anyone really. I find it uncomfortable. I don't like to be touched out of nowhere, especially when I'm upset. I've tried to tell my parents these boundaries but I'm scared they still won't respect them and I'll end up sounding like an idiot. I would like it if people asked before touching me or hugging me. And if I say no, respect that and do not touch me anyway.

My cousins and siblings all have either autism or adhd. Though I have not been diagnosed by a doctor yet, yes, I did self diagnose myself. I realize that's not valid but I've done years worth of research and even had the help of siblings, cousins and some friends to help me know if I was or not. All the adults in my family do not believe I'm autistic and think I only say I am for attention. Why would I put myself through the pain I go through everyday for attention? I have been wanting to get diagnosed by a doctor because I've always felt out of place, always. But my parents do not respect me wanting to get diagnosed and know why I do what I do and feel what I feel. My grandma knows that I don't like keeping eye contact, same with my cousins who think it's uncomfortable. But she says "When I'm talking, you need to look into my eyes" but I don't like keeping eye contact for a long time, or at all. I just wish my family accepted my feelings and didn't get mad when I go non verbal or don't make eye contact.