I don't know what's happening

I am taking a little break from doing my tasks which I haven't started yet after 30 minutes. I just want to express that I dislike the confusion that I've been feeling for months now. I am not really sure if I want to continue college but if I drop out, I wouldn't be able to have a decent CV nor get a job with 6 digits salary. I'm a little lost in life. Well, not a little, I am actually just lost. Maybe I should try reading the bible more. I've been trying to recover and it's been hard. I feel like living in a world where people are looking at me like they're waiting for my downfall. It's just been difficult to cope. City life is hard when you don't have confidence in yourself. I miss the province but at the same time I really don't. 

I have also been having problems (confusion, yet again) with sexual orientation. I feel masculine but I can also feel feminine. I can like girls and guys but sometimes I don't at all. But I know for a fact that I am queer and I'm just glad to be able to recognize that at least.

I hope everyone else is trying to heal or just have a good time. Life is hard.