Insanity

I am on the edge of insankty. So basically, as everyone does, i need a piss. i HATE, DESPISE and LOATHE using gendered public bathrooms with stalls, so obviously i opt for the obivous route of going in the disabled. I enter the bathroom, It's surprisingly dark, but I couldn't see a light switch so i pay it no mind. I hurry in, sitting down on the toilet seat only to feel something wet and sticky on my thigh. My heart drops. I lift up slowly only to realise that some slob of a man had PISSED. ALL. OVER. THE. TOILET SEAT. and i mean ALL OVER. the poor bacteria on the seat must've thougbt that god has broken his promise of never flooding the land again because there was that much piss on the fucking seat that Noah's ark would struggle to withstand it. I gag in my mouth at the sight, My eyes flicking towards the toilet paper holder. My heart somehos sinks lower. There was no toilet paper left. None. Zilch. Nada. So I was alone, In a dimly lit disabled bathroom with someone elses piss on my thighs and no toilet paper. I nearly cried. It was disgusting. Never had the horrors of this earth culminated in such a revolting way, and obviously such a dreadful punishment had to be cast upon me. God seemed to had some ounce of sympathy as as i stumbled dejectedly towards the sink, i was relieved that there was some soap in the dispenser. There was only one thing I could do, as i will never surrender to the sin that is having a creep's sticky piss that had probably marinated on the seat for hours. I then spent the next FIFTEEN MINTUES washing some lazy, pathetic, mountain dew guzzling, fedora wearing, pedophile's piss off my ass and thighs while spilling all the fucking water in my jeans. At this point I'd been un the toilet a whole 20 minutes, so when my ass was dry, i pulled up my jeans and left the bathroom, spirit crushed and body cursed to never be the same again. So now I'm sitting in a loud kids disco with wet ass jeans as i am not only diet cokeless, but completely and utterly souless