GameBro Reviews - The Super Mario Bros. Wonder Game

Yo,

I'm just sitting here waiting for something to review, right? And then I get some blurts on my phone about the new Mario game. So I'm like yeah, okay. And I ask my Broncle if he's got the new Mario game so I can review it for my blog. He's all like, yeah, I've got Mario. So I'm like sick, right?

He comes back from the basement about 45 minutes later with this dusty gray box. If he had a shovel you could convince me he dug it out of the ground like a treasure chest. Instead of gaining some rad loot though, you get like a small Italian Bro who jumps on turtles. He wires it into the TV and spends like 20 minutes giving the game cart oral. Then he's all like, there you go, and leaves my room.

So I call my Bros over and tell them I got the new Mario game. They all get their snacks and tuck their shirts in or whatever and skate over to my place with their controllers. We open the chips and slam one too many sodas, all crunch onto the same couch, and get ready for a Gamer's night in.

Take it from me, bros. This piece of plastic is a new low for the Brotendo peeps.

First it asks if we want to play Mario or Duck Hunt, and we were all like, why the hell would we buy Mario if we didn't even want to play the Game. We don’t wanna shoot ducks, we’re all about decimating some Koopas. But whatever, we all chill. And then the title screen pops up. What a mess. The graphics look like they were drawn by a four year old.

Didn't even play the game past that. That's how bad it was.

We ended up spending the night playing Super Mario Bros. 2 on the NES at my best Bro's place instead. That game’s hella rad. Straight up redeems the name of the plumber, so I’m letting Super Mario Wonder slide a good hat and a half.