Don't Worry, I'm Ok

Today's a bit rough. Nothing happened, but nothing happened, you know what I mean?  Like, I feel stagnant and yucky about my life, but don't worry, I'm ok. I might not be functioning well as a neurodivergent mess under so much stress in retail during the holidays, but don't even worry about it, I'm ok.  Like I'm not in danger or anything cuz I'd rather bust through these walls by sheer will than ever turn around and jump, but Let Me Tell You I'm TIRED of seemingly running til my metaphorical engine is red glowing hot to get absolutely nowhere.  I don't even know what to do, or let me rephrase that I know what I WANT to do but I don't know what I have to do to get there.  

You can see by the beginnings of this profile here I can have a very one-track-mind over here; it's an OPEN mind, but these days if something helps by the tiniest bit I'll hold on to it like a pitbull so.  But I'm ok, I just feel like I'm some kind of forced mime in an invisible box unable to speak to the outside world and unable to leave the box.  I have what I need, but do I really?  I'm missing the enrichment of adventure and of communally getting together and celebrating something, anything. It doesn't have to be metal, but that's my strongest example. I don't know why It's hitting me so hard right now, probably because I live in a capitalist hellscape and it's winter. I'm really just here to be my weird eccentric little self so, I mean.... I don't plan to complain on all my blogs but there it is. Comment, friend request, whatever, just don't be nasty? Thanks! 

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