he/Him

each day i sit here and wonder what it would be like if i were not the person i am, if i did not have the experiences from before. i wonder if he didn't exist, i would be okay. who is he? he could be many, he could only be one, he may be anyone you see fit. sometimes i wish he never existed. if he never existed, would i be where i am now? would i be elsewhere, at home, in the state he left me in, where he ruined everything. i think i would still be here. i think somehow, i would always end up here, with Him. with Him. with He who cares for me more than I can imagine anyone ever could. would. i sit here and i'm okay, and the days i'm not, He sits with me.