I don't feel human

 I know I am human, physically, but psychology I feel different, I don't know whether that I am of higher, lower, or the same standing. It mainly started when I was younger, when I was being bullied. I felt so dehumanised and feeling different and weird in comparison to my peers that I felt not like them, to the point of seeing my self as an alien.

   I saw my self as an alien not in a childish way. How a child pretends they're a cat or think they're a cat and roleplay with they're friends is not what I was experiencing, it was worse. I looked in the mirror, tugging at my skin, wondering if I pulled hard enough that it would rip and expose an alien beneath it, a green one or grey one or something of an eldritch nature. It was scary.

It then continued when I watched Lego Ninjago. I really enjoyed watching it as a child and I really related to one character, that being the character Zane. I really felt connected to him, like he understood me. Like it made me feel understood during the months after my feelings of inhumaness. Then it was reaped away from me. He was revealed to be a robot and that just made me feel horrible. That maybe I was not an alien, but a robot. It just worsen the inhumaness.

This entire feeling was exacerbated in my teens, which has not even finished yet. It's just the mix of puberty, feeling detatched from most things, delusions and intrusive thoughts, realising I have extreme emotions that swing from one extreme to the other, so much overstimulation, and finally a not having a sense of self as masking for so long has caught up to me to the point where it's become detramental.

I just don't know what to do.