vent lol

i feel still broken after all this time, am i even doing better then how i was a year prior?

mean yeah sure ig ive learned how to express my feeling better but even then i sometimes feel embrassed by some of the things i type, i wish my parents would take me seriously when i tell them to get me a therapist or something

i legit have anger issues along w possibly a learning disability yet my mother thinks im ''normal'', each time i let my anger issues control me, instead of trying to calm me down she js makes it soo much worse, by saying how unbelievable it is that i have anger issues as such a young age like yeah okay dude my childhood got taken away from me what do you expect?

to grow up normally? for you to have a child only for bragging rights?

i get treated like a prisoner in my own house, i don't even feel comfortable stepping outside my room sometimes, my family's voices js annoy me so much for some reason

im even afraid of saying im doing better, cus  something bad happens then im miserable again, i feel like im a lost cause sometimes.

i feel that everyone ive ever loved or cared for will abandon me eventually and move on with their lifes i mean what makes me such a great person anyways?

the person that took my childhood away is probably living his life to the fullest, whilst i slowly go insane with no help. atleast i hav my best friend tho which yk helps make me feel better but still

i cant even stand to look at myself in the window, im too fat and chubby no wonder people find me ugly, especially since i have achne

ive always struggled w eating disorders anyways so im not suprised but still

i wish people respected me more

im so stupid too, imagine not even being able to create a proper sentence cus u stutter to much, plus u also spit 

maybe i should js keep my mouth shut forever until i die lol

im probably just a tool for others to use

oh well 

i dont even feel motivated enough to do anything recently,

ive just been sleeping all day

oh well it'll pass probably tomorrow soo