long ramble abt my day + art wip (trying new style)

Hello friends! I am back, I haven't made blogs lately! I wanna blog everyday, but my life is simply too boring to do so, so here's a WIP and a lil ramble about my day and my current feelings

TW: Eating Disorders

So, I woke up early and took a shower, i had the plan to waste my life away for another day cuz i was feeling NOT SILLY this morning... I got triggered rly badly yesterday over something rly small and it led to a lil breakdown, it's been hard to get the ED thoughts out of my head tbh but I'm currently in an environment where it's not rly possible for me to relapse so I'll be fine, I just can't think or talk about food without feeling horrible.... and my friend keeps bringing up dieting and shit to me and it upsets me because my ED makes me super competitive and I can't stand that she is losing weight... I'ts almost bringing me to hate her a little because even though I've asked her more than once to not bring up that topic she still does, sometimes I can't tell if she forgets or she doesn't care or if she... is trying to trigger me on purpose?... She is still my beloved friend and I don't plan on ever leaving her, but she sometimes hurts me a little, but I guess this is how it is with friendships!

anyways after that I played minecraft with my friend, it was fun but I got a little burnt out... later I played roblox pizza place because I'm addicted to that fuckin' game (i cooka da pizza)! aaaand after that I drew something!! I had this old doodle saved so I was like yeah... I'm gonna color over this to practice rendering!! later on below you'll see what I've drawn so far!!

after wasting my time for that long I went to spend time with fsmily and it actually went well!! no fighting this time (because my cousin was there, she came with us!)!! I'm not a very festive person, honestly christmas makes me really sad and I actually kind of hate it, every year it gives me a feeling of emptiness that I can't handle and I break down, this has been happening for years like, since I was little... I honestly can't handle the last 3 months of the year, they're always horrible for me but this time I had fun decorating the tree with my grandma, my mom and my cousin! I'm really not looking forward to actual christmas, I know people will fight because of the voting and all that is going on... every year they start arguing about politics and then they get wasted and they fight and cry more!!! last christmas i slept through the entire thing, i didn't wanna deal with that so as soon as i got there i asked for a blanket and i slept and i woke up just a little bit before we had to leave LOL well, after decorating my Aunt arrived, we wished her a happy birthday, we ate some tomato and bread so we could get all fresh and cool (it was 27°C, rly hot day!!) with some tea, we bought some cigs for grandma and we headed home!!!

Once I got home we went to buy a lil drink for my mom and I got a lil snack like some toddler..... but I'm happy cuz free snack!!! I'm broke cuz I'm not takin commissions currently :P so I appreciate all the free things TwT now I'm writing this, I'm saving my snack for later in the night but I might head to bed and save it for tomorrow, idk!! oh I just realized i forgot my afternoon meds....

here is the WIP of my character!! I'm trying this new art style and rendering style I've been using for the last few drawings, it takes longer to finish the art but i kinda like how it looks ^-^ I wish I were a better, faster artist so I could take commissions more often, but once I figure out my style I'll open them :] please wait a little for it to load!

thank you for reading, have a good day and take care of yourself!!