This year has been honestly crazy but the best

2023 has been so just omg, i started it kinda just alone in a weirdly bad depressive episode, so closeted i was completely just questioning everything about myself and basically just not caring about anything and having nothing. 

Then in like early january my friend tagged me in a post on a literal facebook group LMAO about someone starting a band, and i was like yeah sure that sounds cool. Then it kinda just went from there, at first we were not the best, but me and Olly, the at the time other guitarist and now singer and guitarist kinda just clicked and that just sorta helped me and i cant explain why but it felt different to other friendships even in the start. By the time it hit sorta mid year summer we were literally best friends and it was so just perfect. Over the first half of the year we met up quite a few times and just hung out together i still remember everytime.

Summer was quite sorta calm not too much going on, our drummer went away for a few months but the summertime was okay, then around september my mental health kinda entered a really steep downwards spiral that lasted awhile but everything turned out completely okay in the end, and recently its got so much better. 

A little while into the time me and Olly got to know eachother, i kinda started feeling like idrk it was something more than a friendship but i didnt know how to describe it or if he'd feel the same so it was kinda an awkward situation. I've never been able to tell like when someones serious or if theyre joking but like this was so crazy, id rant to my other friends about him and just everything so much and they were all like "THIS IS SO FCKING OBVIOUS TELL HIM RN." but i still didnt realise LMAO

It's now early december and our band is about to play at a little talent show, its so exciting but god im so nervous but ik itll be okay, and plus its the first time itll definitely be a bit rough at times but itll be so fun!

The other day when we just kinda talked we both sorta realised that we were both like the literal exact same towards eachother and it was such an awkward conversation but weve been together since then and its the best, idk how to explain it but this has just kinda changed how ive thought about stuff, without even realising hes helped me with tryna stop a few of my bad habits ive had and it means so much honestly istfgggg

I love everything about what weve got, how we can talk to eachother, how just real it all is, and sure the last few times weve met up have been quite awkward but its been the best time ever and im so thankful for it. 

Honestly if everything that happened this year didnt happen i have no clue where id be rn. 

its so just like im 15 and ive felt like ive been wasting my teen years just doing nothing and the last year ive actually felt like im living life and its amazing.

 but yeah theres my little rant about my year