me and existential crises

HALLO!! GUTEN MORGEN/TAG/ABEND TO THE PERSON READING THIS!! (‾◡◝)

today i'll be talking abt me and the existential crises..

So, Yatsu!! What's an existential crisis?

basically, a existential crisis is a period of inner conflict during which a person is distraught over questions about identity, meaning, and purpose.

Alright, so Yatsu, what's up with you and the existential crises??

So ever since like, 3-5 months ago, I've kept asking myself:

''Is there a purpose in all of this I'm doing?? Are my friends even my friends? Am I real? Is this all just a cruel dream?? What's the point of all of this? I suffered so much for what? Why even put effort in things and stuff? We're all going to die eventually, so whats the point? What will happen when I die? Am I going to be reborn? Are my feelings even real? Is this all real? Will I even remember anything?''

''Yatsu you're insane'' I KNOW.. I just can't help but think about all this, like, in class, in my bed, while hanging out with friends, while looking at the sky, it just makes me think about human life and kinda just everything, i zoom out mentally sometimes in class thinking about it. It just makes me wonder even more if there's a purpose in writing this blog. Why am I even writing a blog in the first place?? I've never even wrote a blog before, so why am I?? Life is just incredibly random. Like, anything could happen to you or me anytime, any now. One day I could have everything I've ever wanted, one day I can lose everything I loved, I don't even know what I'm typing at this point man. So much stuff has just occured to me in such short time, I can't help but want to type and talk about it. I just can't imagine other people being actually real, I don't know if you get what I mean, but it's just that I kinda struggle understanding other people sometimes, I just wonder: Are they actual people? Actual human beings like me?

Weird stuff like this goes through my mind sometimes.. I just have this shaky feeling about kinda just life, it's so freaking strange, I'm telling you. It's hard for me to believe other people have their own lives too. Like what do you mean you're not just another person in this fake world that is part from my imagination and actually has feelings and real thoughts??

Anyways, enough with my craziness, if I continue typing I think I'll actually go insane.. (SPOILER: I ALREADY AM!!) Thank you for reading my blog!! As mentioned before, this is my first blog, so it might be kinda strange. I'm looking foward to write another blog, see you around !! this is Yatsu signing off!! （*＾-＾*）