I miss my cat

My beloved cat went missing in November.
I have had my cat Ellie for 7 years. 
Everyone thought he was a girl at first (even me) but he turned out to be the sweetest boy ever. He loved cuddles. He was super nice with other animals and babies. Literally perfect. Im so sad he is gone and I feel like it's my fault because I put him outside for a bit and never seen him again. I live in a very secluded place far away from highways or busy roads and I have 3 big dogs, so barely any animals make it into my yard before they get scared off. So having him outside and exploring wasn't normally dangerous. Plus I have 2 other cats who roam around the yard so I know he was relatively safe, But he must of gotten into some trouble for him to go missing. It makes me too sad to think about.So I won't assume and just hope he can still find his way back to me..But anyways, I had a dream of him today. He came to me like he always did and just wanted a cuddle. He laid on my chest and we just sat there booping noses. Then I put him in my lap and let him purr on me. It was such a bittersweet moment for me because I am usually super aware I am dreaming and what isn't real. I wanted that moment to last forever but as usual my dream ended. That's it, I guess I just had to tell someone.