Christmas is... different. (This Year)

Christmas... it's a time for a lot of people to celebrate. It's a time for families and friends to come together, share good food, open presents, watch classic holiday films, you name it. However for others, it could also mean anxiety for those whose families are not exactly getting along or see each other for a long time for a plethora of reasons. In my case, without getting too deep into it, is very complicated and quite one sided; at least from my mom's POV. 

This year, my dad invited me to an early Christmas at his place on the lower mainland, a bit further east from Vancouver. I will admit that I possess a healthy amount of cautious optimism when it comes to the visit. Mostly because I hadn't seen my dad in 11 years now and the fact is: as much as I want to go and act like we're besties, I know reality doesn't work like that and both my father and I agree that it's best to rekindle our bond one small step at a time. That's what we've been doing now for the past 3 and a half months; him being the initiator. 

Mom is less than pleased with this but seeing as how I'm an adult and I'm able to pretty much able to go anywhere anyways, she knows she can only give suggestions and sound advice on how to deal with visiting relatives one hasn't seen in a long time. Her feelings towards my dad are less than kind, to put it mildly, but even then, I do applaud her for trying to be civil when she's talking to me about my upcoming trip to Dad's place. I know she has her worries and her negative thoughts but I think surely she has the have a gut feeling that everything will turn out smoothly after all. 

I've been used to having 1 Christmas my entire life with my mom and my older brother. This year, yeah it'll be a little different like my blog title suggests. Now instead of 1, I'll be getting 2. It SOUNDS fun but trust me... you try meeting your dad and his side of the family; most of whom you've never met before or only once or twice your entire life. 

All 29 years of it. 

So yeah... my moods about this: Excited, Nervous, Confused, Happy, Cautious, Optimistic--yeah my brain's a bit of a mess at the moment. I'm just really hoping everything DOES go smoothly and it's the start of something good with my Dad afterward. Only God knows and I'm ok with it either way.