Persephone

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Him ~ Journal Entry 9-17-21

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ 9-17-21 I had a visitor this morning, after dropping Matthew to school. Someone from the Otherside stopped in for a chat. I was a bit surprised he wanted to sit with me, until I quickly remembered, there is no pretense on the Otherside. They do not participate in silly quarrels & misunderstandings for the most part. They are not busy "taking sides". They are visiting to share more knowing. He h... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ 9-8-21 ~ see the lover that's sleeping

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

I look at you all See the love there that's sleeping While my guitar gently weeps I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping Still my guitar gently weeps I don't know why nobody told you How to unfold your love I don't know how someone controlled you They bought and sold you I look at the world And I notice it's turning While my guitar gently weeps With every mistake We must surely be learnin... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ Mid 2017

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ Mid 2017 I am at work. I am getting through the day on Xanax. Yervant & I have decided to part ways. I am numbing myself. Losing another person I love is excruciating. I am heavily medicating. Don't worry. No one would ever know this. That’s how good at putting on a show I am. I may appear stressed or slightly sad, not like I am using. Sadness is usually a hard no in my book. Appearing sad to p... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ 2016

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ 2016 I am living in the home that my ex husband & I raised our 2 kids in, again. After having Matthew in Santa Cruz, I became a stay at home mom again, until the money ran out. James was kind enough to welcome Matthew & I into the house again & the plan was that I would save money to move at some point. I had saved a good chunk of money just before getting pregnant with Matthew. I was squirreli... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ July 2015

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ July 2015 The hope of him returning was pretty bleak at this point. I had reached out to him like an absolute idiot. He was not pleased. Matthew was about 1. Not only did he deny that he thought Matthew was even his, he point blank told me: “I am not in love with you. Move on.” He was still with the redhead. I know this man. In my heart I knew that he knew Matthew was his. If any one knew the w... » Continue Reading

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2014

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ 2014 I am on leave from work in the jewelry district. I am pregnant with his son. He has left me again. I cannot afford the apartment & raising 3 sons on my own. I had to make tough choices after he explained he would not live with me. I am sure his version is different, but those facts remain. I think about packing up another apartment filled with memories of him. He told me he loved me here. ... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ Early January 2020

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ Early January 2020 The kids & I have come back home from a holiday stay in Santa Cruz. When I sit to edit some photos for work that evening, I find my fucking computer's C drive rearranged. Again. Not the first time in the last 6 months, but it is bad this time. It is nearly unrecognizable. The folders are all new, things I had never fucking seen. I am livid. For starters, I hate change. I also... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ 2007 Part 2 - Journal entry 8-17-21

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ 2007 - Part 2 This was the year He & I spent some together. My life had become a series of moments woven together by the universe, which he starred in. Reminders of him plastered on my Yahoo home page & the news while I was stalking his blog. He was inside my head thanks to Apple, be it a song I had put on, or one that my Ipod had decided to play for me. The evening I got home from spending a g... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ 2007 Part 1 - Crazytown

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ I would like to say before starting this entry: Nothing like this had happened to me before. I know I keep saying this. But it’s important to me, because in the beginning, I was tripped out . Had I taken too many mushrooms as a young girl? Was this an eternal flashback? These things now happen to me all day. For the last 15 years. Some days quieter than others. ⚜️ 2007 The first iPod Touch with... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ Random Mesh of Info

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ This journal entry is a random mesh of thoughts. In some ways, I feel I have been unfair in these entries, as I continue to write in varying stages of grief. To be clear that while some of it was devastating & horrible, the moments on the flip side of that coin are the reasons I loved him so hard, for so long. ⚜️ I had (in the beginning of this writing) unintentionally omitted any time He & I a... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ 2008-2009

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ 2008-2009 Alone, in moments of weakness I would think of him fondly & immediately pull out my bag of tricks that I used to keep him from entering my mind at all. I was coping better after our second parting. At least this time, I was not completely laid out. I was stronger now. In fact, I was just speaking with a friend from Huntington who was helping me pack the last week in my house. The very... » Continue Reading

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Him ~ 2006 ~ nvrsaynvr

Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

⚜️ 2006 If you are familiar with MySpace, this will be a trip down memory lane with me. While I have chosen to write this without including any time He & I spent in each other's physical presence together, the moments we shared outside of each other's physical presence were also magical. He was magical. I have waited to write 2006. This one is important & needs thought. It is when I fell hard . Wi... » Continue Reading

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