Chad :)

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Chad :)'s Blog Entries

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Why..

Category: Blogging

Why.. Why this time, Why all night? When will this end? I keep on pestering myself with what once was. My mind will never listen to me, What I want is a clean slate. No more feelings, just cut that shit out.  When can I move on? My feelings towards you ruin me, not just me but every relationship I begin. They all start the same. There is so much potential.  Why do I still crave you? This body ache... » Continue Reading

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Grey Skies, Half Lit Golden

Category: Blogging

There is something sentimental about rain showers. We all have our own feelings towards them. I enjoy the sensation. The drowning effect. Nothing else really matters. You can stand for as long as its raining...or lay down the entire time. So long as the rain encompasses your entire person, you have achieved satisfaction. The genuine state of not caring about anything but the moment. Let your mind ... » Continue Reading

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The Demise

Category: Writing and Poetry

Once he was ready to start his journey. Embark on a quest to find the treasure life had awaiting for him to discover. He set his sights on the exploration, never to consider the many chances of death that lurk around the corner. How many attempts of suicide would cross his mind. He kept the big picture. Misery around each corner. It found him.  One day he fell through the floor. Face rested upon a... » Continue Reading

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This Ones For The Guardian

Category: Writing and Poetry

A little info on a book I was working on a while back.  Ben heard him from miles away.  A reminder of the life he had not long ago. His friends worried for him. Trevor non stop chasing the signs around town. Led him to the conclusion.  Only one thing needs to change.  But he will never. Ben has a list and knows what is to come. Another victim will be discovered by the following morning.  If only h... » Continue Reading

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Why Have It? Every Heart, Then...Dare...The...

Category: Writing and Poetry

Heart. It is there in you, as it is here in me. Why does mine bleed for you. Every pump races towards you. Then I stop it because I no longer wish to feel the pain. Dare to bare this agony. The ache is in each word. Have you noticed or are you still breathing? » Continue Reading

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Repetition

Category: Writing and Poetry

I am climbing these stairs, but what is on every level? When I take two steps forward, why do I no longer make progress? When will I feel accomplished? How long ago was I here? There is blood dipping off my body, into each crevice. My sweat falls upon the ground, where is the end? Alone I must push myself, in this infinite challenge. I no longer feel the way I used to, not when I began climbing. I... » Continue Reading

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Do You Know Who I Am?

Category: Writing and Poetry

The moment I walked in with you, There was slight panic.  I jumped in the shower, While you stayed on the bed.  Next thing I knew... We were together in there.  Only this was not where I wanted to be.  I know what I want, so why did I stay? I knew who I was, but not who I am.  » Continue Reading

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What Is There To Say

Category: Life

Imagine you could go any where you want. Where would it be? How long would you stay? Is this permanent? How will you get by? Will you miss this life? I have so many questions, thoughts, adventures all waiting. What the fuck is to come? Where am I going next? Man I am tired, maybe tomorrow I will make better sense. But for now all I want to say once again.. WHAT...THE....FUCK!!! » Continue Reading

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I Want To Fly Away

Category: Blogging

Today I found my suitcase. Yay!! I do not have to borrow one. I am proud of myself but also annoyed because it took so long. What the hell!  Any ways there is so much to do before Monday. I want to be in Florida already. Can not believe vacation is already here. I am so exhausted, I don't even care if I forget anything. Just getting away will be incredible. These past couple weeks flew by...honest... » Continue Reading

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Thunder Behind The Clouds

Category: Blogging

Humidity before the storm, you can almost taste it. The wind approaching. You know this one is going to be a good one. Static in the air, not yet visible to him, her or anyone else for that matter. Today was another day and it was hard. Getting out of bed. Still trying to promptly make it in at work, so you will not have to stay any later. If exhaustion wasn't enough, let us add the 8th anniversar... » Continue Reading

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The Feeling

Category: Writing and Poetry

Glitter sparkles and the moonlight shines.  When I am happy,  I will radiate the pure ecstasy of unlawful bliss.  ... When Im depressed... The darkness encompasses more than my person.  Taking over... It will ruin anyone elses mood.  Do not become that person.  Do not try and make anyone feel as bad as you do. ... Give it time.  Soon you will see the sunlights ray, and feel the warmth inside you s... » Continue Reading

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Ughhhhh!!!!!

Category: Blogging

When do you feel like enough is enough? Sometimes I believe in the dreams at night, or maybe one day I will awake and everything never happened? When does the hurt stop? Never? Maybe one day this will be memorable, or once again I can be who I want to. Regardless I keep trying to please you. But then I ask myself. Who am I trying to please? Why am I running away from who I wanted to be? Am I reall... » Continue Reading

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