awhile back (all of 3 weeks ig) i made one of these things in case ppl wanted to get to know me. which as you can tell, i'm fucking insane. i'm rly particular abt who i talk to and what have you so ig this is me idk i pretty much don't answer most IMs bc i dont give a shit but if i think you're cool i will i don't rly have a DNI list but also i completely fucking do -ppl under 15 (yall weird me t... » Continue Reading
Bob From Accounting, also known as BFA, is my spirit animal. BFA is any man (or woman with lesbian-like clothes and attitude) who spends an abnormal amount of time as an inside joke. You may have never met BFA, but you spend more time talking about him than actually wondering What The Hell Your Life Has Come To™. Examples of BFA's involvement in your life would be: "Say, Dad, has Bob from Accoun... » Continue Reading
the small ass children here at my uni are fucking INSANE i will get bit by someone whether it be sexual or just a hate crime i will be bit by a human being at my school by an adult who should know better » Continue Reading
so his dog's name is steve. steve is a dog. but steve also leaves for 8 hours every day and has bags under his eyes. and steve looks like he hasn't shaved in years. steve stole all of my watches. and sold them. to buy. fortnite. game. fucking. passes. steve also made crop circles in my yard. when i asked him about it. he. threatened. me. EDIT: uhm steve was a h » Continue Reading
*Kids, please ask your parents before harvesting your little brother's organs* My Soul The organ in mah local church Grandma Blueberry Muffins Diet Lemonade Soy Milk Cows The Entire Fucking State of Oregon Liver Kidknees (kids' knees) Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. » Continue Reading
The Neo-American Church (not to be confused with the hellish creation that is George's Feigley's sex cult) is totally gnarly. The whole idea of the church is centered around psych drugs and gettin' high (yeah, man). Okay, okay, I'm leaving some context out. Lemme roll the tapes back, my dudes. The year is 1965. Or 1966, most folksies aren't very clear. Your name is Arthur Kleps. (but I don't want... » Continue Reading
In case you weren't born with a wonderful handlebar mustache and a smooth baritone voice, there is still hope. You too can have a girlfriend who isn't being paid by a 3rd party. (Yes, Susan, I know you're being paid by Nintendo.) You can try... Not being gay Not saying you like men Listening to Nickelback daily Not reading books Not referring to yourself as a "pwetty pwetty pwincess" Driving an Am... » Continue Reading
I'm 18, meaning any work I've been exploited for is officially legal in all 50 states and almost all countries except for Germany, since I've been banned for playing polka covers of Katy Perry. I am no longer a child labourer. If you would like to send me a card for this wonderful milestone - you probably shouldn't. I made that paper in rural Missouri when I was 16 years old. You can smell my col... » Continue Reading
+ Known as: Twink Jesus + Born: July of 2007 + Hair color: Rusted red... my way of saying I'm a redhead + Eye: Brown SECTION 2 – HAVE YOU EVER + Fallen off the » Continue Reading
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