today i learned that my dreams will always be just that. tell me there's something i can do to make you actually want to hear what i have to say. you never gave me a chance to describe what I see. for once, my actions are completely justified. but all you hear is what you want to. » Continue Reading
tw I am forgetting to brush my teeth. I am in the back of my room gnawing away at my own brain because I can only prove I'm alive when I'm in pain. I am the voices in my head that always manage to be right. I am starving myself. I am binge eating, I am binge drinking. I am hours of analyzing conversations with people and contemplating what the one eyeroll meant, and I am bringing myself to tears w... » Continue Reading
makeup sex in the backseat, i sweat off all my makeup. i will go home and fix it for no one to see. my whole life revolves around being pretty... and stealing my parents vodka just to have a reason to text you. in the morning i'll apologize but i don't mean it. i wanted to tell you those things, the liquor was all i needed. » Continue Reading
i keep having this vision of you and me in the backseat. hands in secret places and smiles towards old-new faces. it's been so long, but has anything really changed? round and round we go like some kind of infinite carousel. i'm just waiting for an empty spot. i could lie and say that i don't miss you, but i'd be the only one lying. » Continue Reading