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Day 21 of Creating A Tulpa Till We Swap Body Possession Roles And It Has Dire Consequences

HELLO! It's Day 21!!! Yay!!!! Where am I!!!!!!



[ Sleep Schedule || Previous Night ] -


I got a good 8-9 hours of sleep! I’m currently in a break period, so im getting good sleep, but waking up like early afternoon hours. And because I usually have a schedule and routine of waking up really early in the morning it feels like i’ve wasted half my day. 

So tomorrow im going to be waking up really early, because i need it. I’ll get a lot less sleep, but it’ll keep me productive.


[ Socialization ] - 


I didn’t do much socializing today. I am with family, it’s the day before thanksgiving so everyones busy, and i didnt feel like reaching out either. 

I did do driving practice with my older brother, but that’s it.


[ Art/Creative ] -


I did some digital art. I noticed this very quickly, i dont have the patience i do with digital art that i have with traditional. I could spend hours painting but cant spend more than twenty minutes on one digital art piece. I dont get it either. 



And then i switched to traditional because i wasnt making anything i liked in digital. 




[ School Work ] -


I didnt do anything, but i absolutely NEED to tomorrow. I need to do A LOT tomorrow. 


[ Hydration ] - 

i did okay!


[ Diet ] - 

I had a vague breakfast and then lahmacun for dinner. Lahmacun is so tasty. nothing particularly unhealthy OR healthy. just, balanced middle. 


{ [ New Information/Something New ] } -


Today i was going to watch a video essay on three different kinds of terrors (it was just a video essay about three different horror games) but noticed i don’t know any of the games that they’re going to spoil. I picked the one that caught my eye to go watch a gameplay of, and Who’s Lisa seemed the most interesting to me appearance wise. 

I watched ManlyBadassHero’s entire gameplay of it, and very early on it mentions Tulpamancy and a random character mentions not wanting to “be like Koomer and Oguigi.” Immediately thought huh. What are you talking about. I had never heard of Tulpamancy before this, and just thought i’d look it up.


I clicked on an article so I could get some kind of summary of it, but it advised me to read the original posts of this anonymous used called “Koomer” first before reading anything further. So, I searched for it, found an archive of the posts since the original tumblr account was deleted, and read ALL OF IT. and there was a good amount. 


It was an account basically documenting of his journey with Tulpamancy and it starts very early into the beginning, with the creation of the Hosts, Koomer’s, Tulpa, Oguigi. That’s not even the name it starts off with at first, that’s the name it gets a few days after its’ creation. 


It was really interesting. Odd. Peculiar. Interesting. 


Basically, my summary of Tulpamancy, is that it’s creating a psychological imaginary friend and forcing yourself to believe that it is its own entity and being. This is completely psychological, and almost something like intentional schizophrenia. That’s what a lot of people seemed to saying, and i completely agree.


You willingly “create a Tulpa” and let it slowly kinda “become real”? Like, it develops more and more in your mind, and eventually the goal is to see it physically with your eyes, like envision it, and even let it possess your body if you’d like. Which a lot of people seem to be doing.

It is intense, I can’t believe i had never heard of it before. 

In my opinion, this psychological concept and intentional forceful psychosis is a product of loneliness and dangerous curiosity. 


Cause in all honesty, i’d be interested in doing something like that but not to have a friend, psychological relief, or anything. 


BUT BECAUSE IT’D MAKE A DAMN GOOD STORY. 

I'd just use it to discuss story concepts with. But in all honesty, i dont think it’s healthy.


 Like, Brother, i think maybe it is better to spend that effort, physical exhaustion, and time into….a hobby. Being more in touch with yourself, with the people around you, opening yourself up to people, and understanding life. 


Very generic stuff, i know, but it’s basically all we have anyway. 


Although Tulpamancy sounds incredibly interesting, and it is an incredibly interesting concept i really curiously read up on, in the end we must agree: It is straight up delusion. 


The user “Koomer” and his tulpa “Oguigi” end up switching positions in their body. Psychologically, the Host of the body, Koomer, becomes reserved into the mind of the body and almost fades. Before this, Koomer and Oguigi even “get married” in their “wonderland” space, which is basically their mind. After a while, it becomes hard for the host to even use the body anymore. Oguigi starts writing most of the entries. 


Which is all claimed by the way. I don’t know how much i believe that an actual separate psychological being is typing it, but even their typing patterns seem a little different. 

I do believe that this actually had psychological effects on the host, that they became a shell and probably experienced actual hallucinations.


Earlier on, we can see that "Koomer" was already showing and admitting signs of depression, and i really truly believe giving himself the opportunity to hide between his subconscious and to create a separate personality only made it worse for him.


I was glad that the Host explains in later updates that he’s getting help, he doesn’t believe in Tulpa’s anymore, but does not deny the great psychological defects this had on his mental and overall health. He said he got a job and even though the latest post before deletion was in 2017, I only hope he’s doing well in the present time too. Also, I wish he did an update. I am really curious as to how he is right now, how what he did effected him, and his overall thoughts about certain things. 


If i could, I’d interview him and people similar to him. Instead of celebrities who haven’t done much or explored new ideas, i wanna talk to people who did bizarre or interesting things. Putting a microphone to this guy and going so are you still a Brony and why do you think you made a Pony Tulpa to begin with?


And honestly? His Tulpa, Oguigi’s design rocks. IT’S COOL OKAY. i was into My Little Pony until i was like 12, I still have that little girl who thinks pony designs are cool in me.



Also, the game Who’s Lila was very interesting! I did enjoy it! I watched all of it today, and it’s unique! I haven’t seen anything like it before. I enjoy that you have to physically drag the main characters face to make facial expressions depending on the situation youre reacting to. Its kinda funny and also horrifying. Thumbs up!


Anyways, enough of that. I did a very very long deep dive in it today, so I thought it’d write it here. I might’ve and probably even forgot to write most thing, the Koomer and Oguigi story is very interesting. I even visited Tulpa community websites, reddits, and hashtags and whatevers literally everywhere looking at recent things people spoke about as well.

This situation is probably the most infamous situation from the Tulpa Community, and even looking at the reddit I saw someone talk about Who’s Lila.

Here's where I looked at the archived text diary of Koomer and Oguigi Tulpa. If you're curious!

And Here's ManlyBadassHero's gameplay of Who's Lila. The game looks great and is interesting.


{ [ Music ] } -

Today i recommend you Fishy Love by Griffinilla

Yes, it’s an Undertale fan song….I had a HUGE undertale phase [i still love it. My laptop wallpaper is Mettaton Neo], and this song is adorable. I sing it in the shower. Some of the lyrics make me go oh! that's! p cringe. and yknow what. It’s cute. I love them. Alphys is a sweetheart. I love nerdy awkward characters :33 i am cringe and i am free.

I don’t know how i wasnt bullied as a kid, i was very vocal about the things i liked. I was a huge Undertale, FNAF, MLP, LPS, Animation Meme kid and people listened to me passionately talk about this stuff! PEOPLE DREW ME ART OF THE CHARACTERS I LIKED, DESPITE NOT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT THE THING I LIKED. 

I think i get really excited and compliment the artist, and so the more i did that, the more people gave me art of my favorite characters. 

OH MY GOD MEMORIES ARE FLOWING BACK. 

THIS ONE FRIEND OF MINE GOT HER OLDER SISTER WHO WAS 3-4 YEARS OLDER THAN US (big deal at the time) TO HAND DRAW ME A HUGE SANS POSTER. 

I didn’t even ask for it. It was so well drawn. I never got posters as a kid, so you just went into my 10 year old room and saw a singular huge sans poster next to my bed. HAND DRAWN. FOR SOME TEN YEAR OLD! WHAT!


ANOTHER GUY, i was tutoring him or something, and he was like ill pay you back with a drawing amd  DREW ME INKTALE SANS. THAT’S AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE ONE. THAT’S LIKE, AS FANDOM CRINGE AS IT GETS. And these kids weren’t nerdy kids at all!!!

I have art from middle school when I really liked Danganronpa and around 10 13-14 year old dormitory school girls sat down and drew Nagito Komaeda fanart for me because he was my favorite character. I still have them. WHY did they do that. THEY DID THAT WILLINGLY! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING? WHY DID THEY DO THAT??????

I think its’ just like the artistic desire to make someone happy with your art. 

And there i was, a nerdy little passionate person right there. A million special interests, just take your pick and get drawing to be showered with compliments. 

And I THINK I WIN IN THIS SCENARIO, NO BULLYING, IMMENSE SUPPORT FROM PEOPLE, AND FREE ART! And these little kids were GOOD man. talented ass kids. Im so glad i still have them. I Win. 

OH i just remembered Hard Drive by Griffinilla is also INCREDIBLE. AND THE MOST ACCURATE REAL METTATON SONG EVER! So iconic. 

That is all. God. I’ve done a lot as a little kid online as well. Where am i….thinking about all the things ive done feels odd….where is this 


{ [ Turkish ] } - No turkish today. My confidence is declining, and I don’t wanna attempt. that is all. uu 


Anyways today was a long one. very rambly. my apologies. ^^;; goodbye! Buh bye now!!!! Goodbye thank you for reading!!! I really appreciate you reading this, GENUINELY! I know i say that but i mean it!!!!! With all my heart and soul!!!

Everytime i say hi or goodbye multiple times, imagine me constantly waving my hand at you till i disappear into the distance!!!! Because that’s exactly what im doing!!!! Buh bye now, goodbye!!!! goodbye bye bye!!!!! see you tomorrow, bye bye!!!!


an MS Paint doodle i did last year in highschool downloaded as littlestguy.png on my computer.




yk after putting this image, it made me think. yknow what, maybe the people creating tulpas, the tulpamancy community, maybe at least theyre doing SOMETHING. meanwhile im out here. inputting this image here. So hey, who am i to judge, huh. i speak my truth, they speak theirs.


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Comments

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deniz🌈

deniz🌈's profile picture

i love the little comic lolol last panel is really good!! and i also like the dress on girl that looks like she's in love :D

and tulpamancy is so interesting??? i've never heard of it before but i'm gonna read koomer's whole diary.
intentional schizophrenia was my first thought, too. it's so interesting how weird human mind is about these things. it's honestly fascinating in some kind of way??

also, BE CRINGE BE FREE!!! RAAHHHHHH


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:DDD GAAAHHHH THANK YOU SM!!! i didnt put much though into the dress and the girl, but i kinda wanna study outfits again hmm. maybe ill do some today :D

bro i had never heard of it either, never even in passing or anything. i think its definitely an interesting read!!!!! and YEAH THE HUMAN MIND IS SO WEIRD AND ODD. BUT GAH I LOVE IT. its so fascinating!!!!! even the horrors of the human mind, i cant help but not look away.

YOU TOO BROTHER, BE CRINGE BE FREEEE RRRAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!

by ISCARIOT; ; Report

like, even schizophrenia is so interesting by itself. what do you mean you're hearing voices and seeing non-existent things??? and it's genetic most of the time

SHARE YOUR WEIRD OCS AND FANFICS WITH THE WORLD RAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

by deniz🌈; ; Report

corpseofvenus

corpseofvenus's profile picture

I proudly readed allat. Good bye!!! Bye bye 4 u toooooooo!!! Baayyyeeeeeeee!!!


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thank you for reading allat!!!!!! i appreciate it a lot im happy to have you here!!! ^^ buh bye!!!! come back again soon though itll get lonely here w/o you now that we've met!!!! bye bye!!!! goodbye!!!! o//

by ISCARIOT; ; Report

Slip_Moth

Slip_Moth's profile picture

3 weeks! I really like that little comic, it's so expressive, I love it, I love exaggerated expressions. That section on Tulpa stuff was really interesting too and they do really make great stories. I just love stories involving two entities inhibiting one body, it's a favorite trope of mine. The internet cringe section also had me smiling ear to ear, it's weird how all of Gen z had the eerily similar cringe phases to one another, it's not actually that weird, it's probably just because of the things that came out around that time. Anyway, it was fun to read, cringe is not that bad actually.


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I don't know why but that "save me girlboy" was so funny, I'm gonna be saying that for the rest of the day.

by Slip_Moth; ; Report

THANK YOU!!! exaggerated expressions are so fun and easy!! more comics coming in the future >< i want to get good!

omg omg like asa and yoru or yuji and sukuna!! :OOO OR kinda like denji and pochita. kinda. but i had never noticed it as a trope before??? it is interesting yeah :D i think the entire tulpa thing is interesting, i wanna know about every individuals' tulpa. write a character analysis on each of them.

its probably because the internet had already become a place of community by the time we, Gen Z, got our hands on it at a younger age! so we saw communities of kids our age having similar interests and that only brought us more together lolol
BUT ALSO THERE'S SO MANY DIFFERENT INTERNET PHASES. like me and my friend group, we're all internet nerds but a lot of us grew up with different specific websites, shows, and games!!! or even youtube communities. i wanna know about all of them :DDD and compare!

ALSO LMAOO. PLEASE MOTH I CANT STOP SAYING IT EITHER.....ITS SO ADDICTIVE....SAVE ME GIRLBOY....GIRLBOY...SAVE ME...

srry for the long response ^^ i got too excited :D

by ISCARIOT; ; Report

Im so excited to see more comics from you!

by Slip_Moth; ; Report