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Wir müssen reden - YT
''Salam alaykum (Peace be upon you), friends. It's time to be honest. Before I made this video, I sat here for a lot of hours and thought about whether I should really make this video, but it's about time for this video. And even if it's difficult, it's time to talk honestly with you.
This is my personal video of all time. After this video you will know me better than 90 percent of my old friends. So get something to eat and sit down. I would be happy if you would listen to me until the end. I'm shooting this video not because I want pity from you or anything, but I'm making this video because I'm a hypocrite.''
[TOPIC - Introduction]
''I've talked so many times about how fake Social Media is. Showed the negative sides of Social Media, but was part of it, permanently. I've only ever shown you my smile. Through my School-Stories. I told you my stories. Maybe cheered up, enlightened. But I haven't told you about myself. I know, I'm making myself assailable to a lot of people, but I want to show you with this video that even the person who looks the strongest on the internet can sometimes also have their weaknesses. You are not alone with your problem and I would show you that today.''
[TOPIC - About Ahmad.neu ]
''I have been alone for the last seven years of my life. And by alone I don't mean the normal definition of 'alone'. I wasn't literally 'alone'. I always had people around me, whether they were supposed friends or teachers, and I've already had three relationships behind me. And despite all of this, I have been alone for the last seven years. I have lived alone for the last three years of my life, since I was 16. Now I'm almost 20. I was really alone then. I won't go into detail about why I lived alone, and please don't take offense, but this part of the story is far too personal for me to say, in this video. Maybe in a few years, but I can't do it now because I haven't finished it myself, yet.
Much earlier I didn't live alone, but I was already alone or if you want to call it 'lonely', call it 'lonely'. Besides, that was one of the reasons why many people asked me: ''Ahmad, why are you moving to Turkey alone?'' - I actually sold everything in my apartment and I am moving to Turkey immediately after you see this video. The simple reason why I can move to Turkey whenever I want or want to, is simply because I don't have anyone. Really, no one who relies on me or who I am dependent on. Of course, it sounds very sad on the one hand, but on the other hand it's relatively practical for me because I'm not tied to anyone. I've lied to 99 percent of the people I've met so far about why I live alone or gave a false reason why I live alone. Only one person in this world knows the entire reason. And it goes into much more detail than I want to talk about here, without wanting to say the reason. As I said, why I live alone has resulted in another thing and that is that I don't know what ''love'' is.''
[Growing up without Love]
''This may seem strange to many, but unlike what many of you have never experienced. Ever since I can remember, the first emotion I felt was 'hate'. Whether it's in kindergarden, I've always been the one who's different or weird. It started from an early age. Either because of my behavior, because of my appearance, because of being overweight. It was always that I was different from the others. I never had real friends. I have always wanted to belong to these people. People even noticed that I wanted to be part of them and took advantage of it. And all I ever felt was that I belonged. It was always something like hatred, dislike. I grew up with that. Since I can think. No matter who, whether it was family, friends, teachers. It was just hate. It was just rejection. Nothing else. Sure, there were a lot of funny moments that I told you in School-Stories, for example. Where we laughed together, what we experienced and dozens of other things. But all these moments were just distractions from reality. And you're probably wondering why I'm telling you all this now. I won't get any pity from you or anything. Things like that don't do me any good.''
''I'm telling you all this to explain: everything that happened in the past, without going into it in more detail, because as I said, I could write a book about it. Of course, what happened didn't leave me unaffected. Yes, as tough as I am and as tough as I get on other people, sometimes. In fact, at the end of the day, I'm only human. I wanted to show you this human side and tell you that I have had to go through very, very difficult times over the last few months and years. There were times that almost broke me. You have to imagine that for three years, and I'm only talking about the last three years and not the last seven to eight years, which unfortunately I was, but only the last three years, I stared at this wall here and over thought about the past. And yes, friends, that really messes you up in the long run. I refrain from using any 'self-title', such as depression or other terms that are meant to describe you. I don't use any of those terms for any of this here. All of this is very hard for me. And yet, I was able to sit in front of the camera and laugh with you. This was something like 'self-therapy' for me. It was fulfilling that not only could I pay my living expenses, but I could also talk to you. I'm a person who doesn't need much. I never did it for the money. You know it's the hundredth time I've worn this sweater. I was able to sit in front of the camera and even though I was feeling bad at that moment, I was able to sit in front of the camera and then just laugh, tell you my stories, educate you and warn you about other people. It was just fun. I still enjoy it and will continue to do it. But I thought it was important to reveal you the other side of the coin. And a lot of people like to show one side. They show it always and everywhere, but the other side is the side that we always keep to ourselves. And have the courage to address this page. Because believe me, if you don't do it, you'll break at some point. After all, I'll never know what it's like to be driven by your parents on a school trip meeting, for example. All of these things I will never know. But it's not bad either, friend.''
''A very good and wise man once said to me: ''If you live in the past, you miss your future.'' That's why I'm not someone who holds grudges, as I said, I think the whole movie should be made about it, but who are we letting the past get us down? You know exactly what they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and I'm proud of every single thing that's happened in the past because I know exactly what happened, something like that can never break me again. Disasters have struck over and over again and I'm used to it. I've never dared to talk about how I feel on the other side. Where if I don't laugh because I'm ashamed. I was ashamed to talk about how I was feeling because I thought, "I have a roof over my head and I have food in the fridge. Why do I have to cry?' I have everything I need to survive.''
That's how I've lived my whole life. I've always kept my mouth shut because I do everything to survive. But at the end of the day, I never lived. I just “survived” permanently. And everything I told you had serious consequences that, as I said, I don't even want to start talking about here. But, from an addiction to thoughts that I don't even want to talk about. There were,... it definitely had very, very bad consequences that came with it.
Yeah... It was definitely very bad.''
[Open up - Comunication is healing - Why is he doing it?]
''I sat down here today and just talked into the camera without a script. Just from the heart to show you two things. At the end of this day:
- First: That even after everything that has happened and no matter how much may happen, I still can sit here today and laugh with you. Every week we laugh our heads off at random people and old stories of mine. And all that, despite the past, it is possible to move on, my friends. That's what I wanted you to do with this video to show that no matter how hard it is for you right now, you have to remember: 'You are not alone'. Each of us has a package to carry with us, no matter how big the package may be. Each of us has one thing to contribute. Believe me, for some it is harder and for others it is easier. But you are not alone. And you will never be alone. If there's no one outside who has your back, it's me and I know how you feel.
- And the second thing is: A very, very, very important insight that I learned from all of this. At the end of the day, as I sit here and talk to the camera, what is left from the past? There is one thing left and that is myself.
This, my friends, is to tell you that no matter who will leave you, no matter who will fail you, no matter who will betray you, at the end of the day one thing will remain. And that is you! Even if your own family disappears, dies or whatever, at the end of the day one thing will remain with you and that is you.''
[CONCLUSION - MOTIVATION]
''Therefore, friends, make yourself the most reliable person in the world. Make yourself a person you can always rely on. And I tell you like it is: you will live a happy life. Because you can't decline yourself away when you call yourself. In that sense, friends, I wouldn't drag it out. Work on yourself. Don't chase things that aren't worth it. Whatever it is, it's all irrelevant. In 80 years we will all be burried and then stand before our Creator. Therefore, my friends, pursue yourselves, follow your dreams. And live your life as if you were the superhero in your own movie. Go for it, my friends! Don't forget, you are not alone. None of you are alone.''
''Bye.Thank you for listening to me until the end.''
Uploaded on 27th March 2022
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