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"I don't have any passion that's marketable or will provide myself a good job. I love art, I love sharing the arts, I love getting other people to make art. I love music. I love talking about music. I love learning music. When I was younger I wanted to be a teacher. I think I'll pick that up again. Yeah. I'll be a music teacher. That sounds wonderful."No more foolish words have ever been spoken....
Everything about becoming a teacher is fun and exhilarating up until you get to the actual lesson planning. The. The graded lesson plans. The lesson planss, which you use for your own purposes. Graded. Template. Thorough and explaining your approaches, thought process, and accommodations + follow up assignments even if you will never be performing this lesson in person in at least a few years. The lesson plans.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHH
I understand now. The stereotypes. The burnt out teacher on his third shot at the bar head in hands knowing he has to get up the next morning. The entry in my teacher's textbook citing alcoholism as a constantly brought up factor for a teacher's teaching ability to deteriorate past tenure. I understand now. I am becoming the Joker.
I've only ever had to write two so far and I'm working on my second and I'm already dreading it. I approached my first with naive excitement and determination to finish it in one night. What a fool I was. I now open up my second one on a beautiful 2pm afternoon and still find myself finding any way to dodge and push it off until the sun goes down two hours later. I am going crazy.
It isn't...THAT difficult. It isn't as bad as, say, a 6 page report analyzing the teaching strategies of another teacher. Or is it? At least with that one I don't have to be as creative. I can regurgitate what I know. I'm good at regurgitating. But creativity? Noooooo noooo noooooooo. Oh god. I become stressed when given too much power and control over myself. Noooooo I need to be leashed and led to water like a horse.
But yeah, I've been dreading lesson plans. Especially considering that, at least while I'm new to teaching, I'll be having to make pretty extensive ones daily. I'm not sure if the school I'll end up in will check over lesson plans. And I'm sure that if they do I'll be miserable writing them. Graded lesson plans. Yeah right. I'd rather be placed in an education-themed saw trap where I have to shove a recorder up my ass. No thanks.
WHYYYYYY.
There is hope- when looking over my old music teacher's lesson plans I saw they were actually quite simple. This is what frustrates me. I know once I get into the groove of teaching I'll be able to make briefer, easier lesson plans that make sense to me and myself. It's like DMing. At some point I'll be able to improvise easier. Right now I'm just at my script-following phase. But that phase will be grueling, and difficult, and there will be blood, sweat, and tears shed going into one gross thick ichor that spits out a lesson plan if poked enough.
I'll be okay. I mean, I know I'll survive. But I'll probably come out more sleep-deprived and exhausted. Man. For right now, I'm gonna take my break...and deal with the inevitable hours spent over the computer later tonight later.
I still have an assignment-creating activity to work on later for a theoretical lesson on Rosa Parks. We are staying up into the depths of the night with this one. I wish there were more days in the week. I've been busy all week and only really have time and energy to work on things on the weekend, which doesn't bode well for projects.
But I'll be fine...
I HATE LESSON PLANS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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xalli
you got this !! that sounds so ridiculously difficult, but i believe in you and i know you'll get them done. they'll get easier every time, and you'll be able to work through it quicker ! idk if this applies to lesson planning like it does writing, but i love approaching an outline like i'm building a house. just the absolute barebones infrastructure first. section titles of different things i'm going to do. then slowly fleshing each section out, going through n making them all a Little more detailed and then a little More and then even more ! it makes it feel less like you have to be able to do it all rn. you just gotta add a little detail ! whether that helps or not, i hope you figure it out and are able to get it done without like a ton more stress !