I'm mainly writing this as sort of a rant. I'm also writing this so that others can use my experiences and eventual failures to help them know the do nots in a relationship.
I was in a relationship with a boy for about 2 months, things were good or so I thought so. He broke up with me all the sudden and cut me off. Initially I did not know why as he didn't tell me anything, but the following weeks and even now rumors at our high school are being spread about what I did to him. The major one is that I SA'ed him, which is just outright wrong. I had to go to the police station for questioning and seeing that I'm still here attending school without consequences, its safe to say that obviously he's lying. He also started talking about how I was manipulative and guilt tripping and for days non-stop I've had complete random numbers text me about how disgusting I am. What they're referring to is the more intimate stuff I engaged with him, more specifically texts him and I exchanged. Not mention specifics but they were pretty kinky, and obviously I always asked if he was okay with anything we did including things like this, I taught him to use safewords whenever he felt uncomfortable and everything.
This is where problems arise. You see, he did not once actually use any safety measures I brought up and outright lied to me saying he did feel okay when he was not okay and instead bottled it up and waited until it basically turned into trauma for him. I'm disappointed at myself for not seeing this any sooner and I'm working on myself to be better. But it is extremely infuriating that he held it in for so long. I could've stopped, I could've done so much better if he had just told me to stop. I was told that he was scared to tell me but I don't understand, he's always told me his problems other than this.
The lessons I've learnt from this myself is just, don't trust anyone. Even the people close to you because you never really know anyone, and even if you do. People change, they always do. Never be fully reliant on anyone else. And most importantly, never take things too far especially at my age, we're young, enjoy the fun times while they still last.
I regret not stopping. It was beautiful while it lasted.
I don't plan on dating anyone else after this, after everything that's happened to me the past 3 months. How could I trust anyone again?