imayhavemadeahugemistake

i was talking to fish and i guess i seemed kinda flat in my texts, i didnt mean to upset him or make him think i was mad or anything. i was just sleepy but i was happy he texted me. 

you know the repost feature on tiktok? he must have been looking through my reposts because his name appeared all through my notification center, liking the videos i reposted even when they were things he hates and i love, like melanie.

so my dumbass decided to take the meanest approach at "flirting" by saying 'can you stop stalking my reposts'. 

i should have been more lighthearted about it and said something else, but i guess i sounded serious because he stopped replying and went offline. this isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but i feel like he's losing feelings. 

i haven't managed to ask him about his mental health in case he thinks im corny. and i cant exactly bring it up out of nowhere but i want him to know i care and i want him to like me the way he used to. like he used to flirt with me so much and be funny and spam me with messages until i woke up to talk to him and now i either text first or his first message to me in a day is "mb for not replying yesterday" because he always leaves before we can have a conversation. 

idk i love him too much 

bye ily