stupid recovery blogging // day eight

FUCK MY LIFE I KEEP FUCKING MYSELF UP I AM A DEGENERATE LITTLE ASS OH MY GOD JUST DELETE TUMBLR YOU FUCK.

HE FUCKING HATES YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT. SHUT UP. LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE JESUS CHRIST.

im not okay olease help me please pelase pelase jesus please 😎😎👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🗿🗿🗿🗿💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅😜😜😜😜😊😊😊

update two: my world is literally ending lmfao i might just have to block him or somethign i can not function like this

update three: im actually Fucking Terrified now holy Shit 

update four: like Actually im having an anxiety attack jesus fucking christ i want to die really badly ohnmy God the fuck please ohnmy fogumgnjgjehkskdjdjshdjdb im gling tl die jejsudnddhug hhgkgindjd ss shfnnfuc fuck my life fuck me why do i use tumblr why do i still do this to myslef this is harmful i cant even clntorl my shit hes not gkna read it this is stupid 

update five: im sorry.

im.

sorry.

i am sorry.

im sorry.

doesnt fix the damage ive caused you

doesnt fix the probable months of recovery i ruined

doesnt fix a thing

but im sorry.

i still love you.

update six: I CAN RECOVER FINALLY IVE FINALLY TOLD HIM HOW I FEEL I CA I WN I WJN I B I BEA TH THE SYS I WI I HAT E MYSEL EV EN MORE N O W B BUT NOW T CLOSURE HT CLR U I WIN W WINN

update seven: no im not happy we have literally agreed on parting ways my life has changed but I CAN BREATH?? FINALLY??? I CAN ACTUALLY LIKE. G. GUh. I WI W w wait he still has the doc sh.

doesnt matter i can finally become unattached i win i can live a (notso) normal life and living without him for a year will #suck but I CAN FIX MY ATTACHMENT ISSUES I FEEL PRODUCTIVE I FEEL THE potential OCD FIZZLE SLIGHTYL I WIn 

update eight: okay i am in a weird spot of guilt but also im hopeful but also eeeerrrrghhhhhh the guilt but also i need to yell at you in not lighthearted ways but also i cant get mad at you but. this is for the best thats all im gonna say

this is for. the best.