First blog! 2 1/2 years of Cas's Relationships!

Hey!! This is my first entry on here . not all that sure how to use this website but ill try I guess. There are all these cool categories to choose from so imma just talk about my current and pastlove life cause why not.ย 

Lets start with freshman year. God, 3 relationships 2 of which were vert short, so short im not even sure if they count. Either way im adding them. So the first relationship happened when Iย was actually going into high school, it was a 7 month relationship I had going on with my best friend at the time from middle school. Our relationship, due to it being covid for most of it, was very slow and at most we help hands. Typical middle school relationship. We broke up just as I was gonna ask her to our first dance. Yeah it kind of sucked, I ended up not going to the dance at all because of it. Then about a month later I started dating another close friend of mine,I ย even had my first kiss with them. This relationship was way more intimate than my last one, we did absolutely everything together and there wasn't a moment I wasn't with them. But we only lasted about 2 weeks maybe until they broke up with me. This break up was pretty rocky, they turned like 2 of my 4 friends (including themself) against me and I was essentially left with 1 and a half friends. Sucked but I got over it. Then there is the last relationship of freshman year, this was with a old friend of mine in middle school. We got together around 4 months after my last relationship. I thought that me and him were gonna be it, but I fucked it up. I learned in the beginning of our relationship that I wasn't ready to start a new relationship. I was still very hurt and not over my ex, so me and him broke it off. We stopped talking around the middle of sophomore year. Ruining that relationship is probably one of my biggest regrets. I honestly wish I could go back and just wait until the time was right. Then maybe Me and him could have actually had something.ย 

Now onto Sophomore year, sophomore year was just me pinning hopelessly after one of my newer close friends. They would continuously lead me on tho, the communication in whatever the fuck we had was absolutely terrible. I confessed first , then they asked me out and I said yes. We had our semi lovely moments and even kissed after school in the girls bathroom. But after that I felt as tho they were ignoring our relationship. They never told anyone about it, they stopped doing couple stuff with me, and then they would randomly talk about other talking stages that they had with other people. This lead me to come to the conclusion that we weren't dating anymore. It was all so confusing so towards the end of sophomore year I made it a mission to ignore all of their confusing advances towards me, because I knew I wasn't gonna get nothing out of it. I didn't want be their boyfriend when ever they felt like It. That lasted a whole year.ย 

And up to now, Junior year! They still make advances towards me like sophomore year but I continue to ignore them. My other friend try to get us together in a way and I shoot it down immediately. I officially done with them, I've settled on the fact that we would be better off as friends and nothing more. Plus I currently have a crush on a senior at my school. She was in one of my classes last year! I know I have absolutely no chance with them but being delusional and in love is just fun sometimes yk? I like seeing them when I passed by them in the halls or when we cross ways while walking to our classes. Even the simple accidental eye contact makes my day. I know that I will probably never talk to them again, unless they engage a conversation with me by chance, but hopefully I can wiggle my way into their life some other way. But for now imma just admire them from a distance and continue on with my life. Im not sure if being in a relationship rn is the best idea. Ive been more focused on my studies and all that to think too much about dating.ย 

Thanks for reading my blog! If you maybe have some tips for me or questions ill be happy to respond or read them in the comment section! Have a great day!ย 

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