//vent// fkdjsjjdjdjsjsjjd

I honestly don’t know why people bother to try to talk with me anymore like??? 

I’m so fucking boring, especially irl since I feel brain dead nearly 90% of the time. I have nothing to bring to the table there and can’t even get comfortable to people I find kinda okay to be around with after several weeks, or even months like???

Idk fkshshdjjsj I’ve also been comparing myself to a lot of other introverts lately since it seems like when they find their own “group” of introverts to be around with, they get super duper comfortable in like a short amount of time meanwhile my ass still can’t get comfortable around some that bother to try to talk to me even.

I think this is just probably a severe case on my end dksjsjdjsjjsjd I just feel so frustrated ab it and I’ve been trying to befriend people for like, nearly almost the past two years of high school.

I’m in my junior year now. I’ve only really been with two friends throughout my time here but, one of them is kinda lowkey starting to get on my nerves sorta because, she kinda has a tendency to be “mean” but in like a joke kind of way ik, but lately it’s been increasing a lot more and I feel like a fucking pussy for getting slightly upset ab it more often. I really need to tell her to tone it down maybe idk, or maybe I should grow a more thicker skin djsjshdjjaj 

As for the other friend I had, I never really got too close to him since he hung out a lot with this trio he was apart of, but I was too scared to join in on them. He ended up moving to another school and seems a lot more busy with life now to really text each other on how we’re doing etc etc fkdjsbjdksjs which I completely understand of course, but I really wish I could have opened up to him more back when we were in school together.

Fksjsjdjjsjsjd but yeah, I’m kinda returning back to my degenerate route and perhaps make some more online friends but idk- I feel like most people around my age are too busy to handle having online friends rn ha 

Idkkk fksjhdjsjsjdhd I kinda do tend to be a bit dry or maybe just be slightly annoying from the past interactions I’ve had here- at least I think I might have been slightly annoying or dry-ish I really don’t know 

I think???? That’s all I wanted to talk ab, I guess I feel a bit better getting this out of my chest so that’s gooood

Anyways, I’ll see you all sometime soon idk djsjshsbsbjsjahs see yaaaaaa