a bit of a vent (tw, death stuff)

i love my best friend so much, i would die for him a million times over, but ive just started getting so fucking tired while talking to him.. im not excited to be around him anymore, he ghosts me for days and now we only talk like once a week and he asks me why i sound so tired and angry. im not angry, ive been stuck in a depressive hole for the last few weeks that i havent been able to tell him about because we just really dont talk anymore, i would understand if he was just to busy to talk to me, i totally get that, im not mad at him for not having time for a random person on the internet. but im just so tired of him thinking that every time he comes back im going to keep on talking to him like its completely normal, i love him a lot but its so tiring to be around him now. hes gotten me through the toughest times and ive done the same for him but i just cant do it anymore.