HOW TO OVERTHROW A DICTATOR

ideally? i sit on the periphery and watch the club burn. in actuality? one of my close friends is a house mate of the person who a little crew of cast outs has an interest in taking down a peg. and i don't want to see her upset or play a role in making her living situation hell.

there's a way you should treat people - with dignity and respect - but it's in murky territory when "I think we should kick her out of the club she's been obsessed with for half a decade and just became president of" is the way of leveling that. i have been asked if i would feel comfortable emailing the club director but i do not see that being a course of action i take. "C'mon, don't you think someone like that deserves to be taken down?" no, lol. i wish she and i had a conversation a year ago when she decided ignoring me was the best course of action. slow-burn ghosting culminating in cancelling on my 21st birthday plans on the day of. cause that wasn't classy and i wish she'd gone about it differently. this 'conversation' has never happened, i vaguely apologized after conference in a bashful/remorseful text where i admitted i "should have been more responsible." if i email the club's advisor, i open myself up to way too much. she burned me, but i burned her too because she -- and the club -- had trust in me as a friend and delegate and also i was doing illegal things in another state on a school trip. i know when i'm playing with fire.

there are some 'pro' arguments and these would be: hubris. 'some people can't handle the intellectual strain' 'all of the smart people in our year were in my research and design class' shit like that. when we were close friends, i never felt like an intellectual equal to her. there were things i needed to change, that she needed to fix about me, from the beginning. as i showed little signs of budging, she outsourced the emotional duties of our friendship to another person. i do wish she had treated me better as a friend near the end, but i understand why she could not. i do not know if it's arrogance or false bravado with her, i think there is a way she knows she has to carry herself to get forward. the ruthlessness does not work on such a small scale.