Proust Questionaire

i don't think that i will be able to start writing about common life stuff from the begining, so i will try to start with a smal survey. it will be nice to observe myself. questions from this person. 

1) WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
living in a khutor with a cat, having a small garden and vegetable patches. minimise contact with people and just spend my time working on different projects and my garden.

2) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?
being unable to protect myself by any means. i'm not a person of physical conflict resolution, but i wanna be always sure that there is at least one way for protection.

3) WHAT TRAIT DO YOU MOST DEPLORE IN YOURSELF?
diligence. it was a long period of time with hard work. now it helps me with learning new skills fast.

4) WHAT TRAIT DO YOU MOST DEPLORE IN OTHER PEOPLE?
duplicity. i can understand hate and laziness, but i can't understand how people won't stand by their own attitude and words.

5) WHAT LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST ADMIRE?
my grandfather. he's like a dad to me and taught me everything he knows. he is the funniest and most gentle person i know too.

6) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
i don't really like to drink anything but water if it counts. it just feels like a meal. i also collect discs for anime and video games, but i don't have DVD player or ps2. probably, yet.

7) WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT STATE OF MIND?
depressed with rare sparkle of manic episodes. i'm working on it.

8) WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER THE MOST OVERRATED VIRTUE?
humility. excessive humility breeds oppression. nothing good comes out of it.

9) ON WHAT OCCASION DO YOU LIE?
when i see hope in others eyes. i will figure out how to tell the truth later.

10) WHAT DO YOU MOST DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE?
bad posture. i need to work out more, nothing bothers me worse. i know that I don't want to change anything about my face. it's normal. million years of love shouldn't go to waste.

11) WHAT LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST DESPISE?
i can't choose just one, sorry. too many people on my mind.

12) WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU LIKE MOST IN A MAN?
being caring and gentle.

13) WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU LIKE MOST IN A WOMAN?
being caring and gentle.

14) WHICH WORDS OR PHRASES DO YOU MOST OVERUSE?
"if it makes sense" and "tehee". first one - because i'm always unsure if i delivered my thoughts in other language correctly. second one - i just laugh like that sometimes irl.

15) WHAT OR WHO IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF YOUR LIFE?
i don't think i ever met the one. or i was too blind to notice.

16) WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU HAPPIEST?
on a beach with my sister in Sicily. it was a warm evening, and we collected seashells. somewhere, people sang in an unknown language.

17) WHICH TALENT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO HAVE?
i wish i had talent for drawing and writing stories in english as well as i do in russian. can't do much.

18) IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
erase all trauma might be a silly choice. i wouldn't be myself without it. probably my voice. i always wanted it deeper.

19) WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
living up to 22 years old. 13 year old me would be surprised with that.

20) IF YOU WERE TO DIE AND COME BACK AS A PERSON OR A THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
simple: a corall. I would be immortal and calm... if people won't get me, that is.

21) WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO LIVE?
rural side of Italy. or greece. my roots are here somewhere.

22) WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
my blossom pink limited edition psp.

23) WHAT DO YOU REGARD AS THE LOWEST DEPTH OF MISERY?
addiction to any substance, or person.

24) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OCCUPATION?
lying in a hammock. sorting things.

25) WHAT IS YOUR MOST MARKED CHARACTERISTIC?
mmm... people told me that i have "unmoving icy eyes" which they consider dreary even when i laugh. don't know what's up with them. also they mark me as a father/parental figure a lot.

26) WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
patience and attention to the things that cause my hyperfixation.

27) WHO ARE YOUR FAVORITE WRITERS?

Poppy Z. Bright, Bulgakov. Maurice Druon. Grimm Brothers.

28) WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE HERO OF FICTION?
Iron Henry from Grimm's The frog prince."When his master was changed into a frog, trusty Henry had grieved so much that he had bound three iron bands round his heart, for fear it should break with sorrow."

29) WHICH HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH?
i'm not that full of myself. but i really adore Sappho.

30) WHO ARE YOUR HEROES IN REAL LIFE?
all female christian megalomartyrs.

31) WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE NAMES?
Victor, Achlys, Malika.

32) WHAT IS IT THAT YOU MOST DISLIKE?
icky textures.

33) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST REGRET?
never had that last talk with the person i adored. 

34) HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE?
suddenly and without warning, and hopefully not in too embarrassing a manner or situation.

35) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

“And I seem to have such strength in me now, that I think I could stand anything, any suffering, only to be able to say and to repeat to myself every moment, " I exist". In thousands of agonies - I exist. I'm tormented on the rack - but I exist! Though I sit alone on a pillar - I exist!! I see the sun, and if I don't see the sun, I know it's there. And there's a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there.”