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7.8.23 + q&a (;⌣̀_⌣́)

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zomg this is gna be a long entry xDD i have tonz 2 cover + i am aware this is a day early BUUUT not rlly doing anything tomorrow aside from stdying (hopefully) n mondays feel more appropriate than tuesdays to post these on. + i hope u guyz luv the layout change (⌒▽⌒)☆


i was in this super huge depressive episode (。╯︵╰。) (they never usually last this long - it's been like three months - so even i am like wtf is actually up) and like my parents said they'll put me on antidepressants and invest in a psychiatrist for me (⌒‿⌒) but basically i have to fake happy or they'll look through my whole room for anything dangerous (╥﹏╥) ironic since they're a large reason - maybe i'll elaborate in future entries if anyone's curious

 so like what actually is up? if u read my 1st blog (shameless plug) i'm 99% sure it's some form of personality disorder as well as autism - i thinjk it might be BPD and maybe ASPD. my mom thinks itz bipolar but my episodes r usually vv short n i have extreme abandonment issues n other stuff. i know liek u guys did not ask but when i researched BPD when i was like 12 it explained,, , everything 😭

so i've been trying like super hard to look normal by leaving the house n getting off my phone n studying cleaning whatever becuz i cannot deal with that (″ロ゛) but also i really wan to recover so i can study and get high grades on exams that will be p much determining my future ┐(‘~` )┌  cuz in my mind itz either do well or die

anywayz this is partly why i went to the GP a few days ago but they also gave me acne cream for my shoulders n back (@^◡^) my gp is actually a super scary man hez rly tall n intimidating so i make my mom speak to him

 

hmm i also went to a family party in oxford which i guess was ok ╮( ˘ 、 ˘ )╭ my main motivation 4 going tho was cuz i wanna go to university there n we didn't get to see much of actual oxford which was slightly disappointing ╮( ˘ 、 ˘ )╭

so if my recovery um WORKS my plans r to go to school n whatever get high grades n deciede between criminal n corporate law ╮(︶︿︶)╭ i want big bucks but criminology is just so interesting on the whole... well i also wanna maayyybe post rants here by video instead of these long ass entries sometimes n do twitch content (starting off with study streams). i would also luuv to be an influencer like on tiktok n youtube n everything n i do have plans 4 that (´ ε ` )♡ another thing i wanna do is be in a band with nino but this also sliiightly stresses me out but that's also fine becuz i've ghosted everyone. outta sight, outta mind  ♡( ◡‿◡ )

if anyone's actually reading this, can someone tell me if i should start actually talking to my irls again? i went ghost in da depression and tbh i'm happy n cba to come up with an excuse. (・_・ヾ i'm so glad i got a library card 2 cuz i went today n it actually got me 2 study!! i did 2 hourz of maths though i plan to do 2 more hours of physics later today (((o(*°▽°*)o))) i also didn't buy a vape (me resisting temptations)!!!! proof of study here:


^^ super simple stuff, but i'm covering the spec from beginning -> end

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q&a!!

i do NOT have many entries at all but hopefully the number will only b going up ! :9

whatz ur fav game :33 - draino∿consumer

this is a difficult question for me as my favourites are constantly changing depending on hyperfixations. rn i'm playing through life is strange 2 (seen playthroughs too) and that is a strong contender. i also love hatsune miku project diva f2nd + undertale + ayakashi akashi

\(^ヮ^)/ next question!

What’s your favorite show!! ^^ - ☆angelcorpz !!☆

same as before ☆o(><;)○ but atm i've been watching arcane and really loving that - i relate to jinx a lot tho that sounds edgy. i'm also rewatching lucky star and i LUV that 2

[ thanx SM 4 the entries ☆ ~('▽^人) watch out 4 the bulletin next week asking for qs if u wanna b featured, or check my profile 4 a pinned q&a blog post >< ]



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Radish

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Your blog layout is so cute omg ^_^ But if you don’t wanna talk to your irls I don’t think you should force yourself to deal with them (¯▿¯) Especially if they stress you out!!


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ahaha thankx uu (⌒‿⌒) it is a layout though here's the link: https://layouts.spacehey.com/layout?id=36414
++ tysm for the advice! i didn't want them to take it personally so i responded to some messages with a vague explanation (my 2 bsfs knew why anyway) but i won't be hanging out w them over summer

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