June 11 2023

Today i hung out with my partner and i was like feeling down when we were about to go and he was trying to cheer me up like "you have a week left of school :)" and i was like "yea a week and then i leave"-i dont really leave after that, I leave like two weeks after it. but he said "yea but we have a bit of time and that nice" and that made me feel a bit better not because of what he said but that he didn't seem so worried about me leaving

I probably shouldnt rant about relationship issues like that isnt all about me

Anyway, its definitely summer and theres pollen and im allergic. Ive been having a bad stuffy nose and my eyes sometimes are itchy. its sucks

I also saw people from school today from hanging out and one of them talked to my partner at this boba shop we were at and the guy talking didn't really notice me or acknowledge me there.

I feel like i have a problem of being too boring. Its too hard to crack my shell and the only reason how I got to crack my shell with my partner is me actually opening up and i should probably just do that to everyone but everyone like actually sucks. I don't  even have proof to say that but it just seems that way. Im probably socially anxious. Either way i will not open to anyone. Thats probably the problem. I dont even know what to do. Im totally fine being on my own with only my partner with me like I honestly didnt want friends this year except in pe because pe is just that one class where i need a friend to partner with when we needed a partner, if that makes sense.

This is poopy and shitty and it isnt even shitty im just saying that. Idek. I dont really like it.